french toast souflee from roseanne barr! this is precooked. after it was cooked there was no time to take a picture. delicious but a little runny in the middle.
marthas citrus bars, again a little undercooked. pissed me off.
couldnt you just die with that lip color and that blond hair!
As I said in my last post, I am not a huge fan of cupcakes but these were pretty good.
Unbaked. I was nervous about how much to put in-- not familiar with how much the batter was going to rise.
They were fine but looked sort of boring. They tasted ok. Very light touch of vanilla and not too heavy, not too sweet. Definitely not created by Miss Paula Dean.
I went ahead and decorated with Magnolia's Vanilla Buttercream Frosting (basically powdered sugar, butter and milk). That was really fun. Erik suggested some Martha Stewart sanding sugar. Delicious. They reminded me of a Wayne Thiebaud painting.
Again, I ate too many and looking at them makes me want to throw up. Really not interested in going to work. I have to work 11-7. I would rather work my regular 9 to 5.
I used three different kinds of apples: Fuji, Macintosh and Gala. The recipe called for Granny Smith but I wanted to mix it up a little. Plus, I'm liking the way the red apples look these days for some reason.
I had to use these foil muffin tins because I don't have my own muffin tins. This made me a little nervous.
But they turned out great I think. A nice red apple slice for garnish.
I've eaten five of them. That's gross. But they are pretty good.
Tonight I will attempt to make Magnolia Bakery's Vanilla Buttercream cupcakes as seen on Sex and The City. Thanks to Kara for the tip. I want to see what all the fuss is about. I am not a big cupcake fan, but we'll see.
I am watching "The Star" with Bette Davis. This is how I feel at my new job.
"Take a good look ladies, so theres no doubt. Jeremy Wells waiting on a couple of old bags like you..It is Jeremy Wells. I'm going back where I belong, I am Jeremy Wells! And I intend to stay Jeremy Wells!"
The lyrics are meaningless like I like it. The song is perfect for standing in front of the mirror with a serious/sexy face pretending to lead your backup dancers right back into the Rhythm Nation.
Thank you god for bringing her back in good condition. She is rocking that wig, she's not anorexic, she's got some meat on the bones. She's got her backup dancers in classic Rhythm Nation position. She's ready to go.
The video's got Janet jumping from tiny planets until she finally lands on the milk planet where she breaks it all down for us. A+ from me.
Madonna had better just watch herself. She'd better stop phoning in the videos and telling us to love one another. We don't have time for that bullshit. We want robot voices, vocoders, overproduced and nonsensical stupid dance songs... Thank you.
I hate to go on but I am also loving the cover for the single. Janet got the memo.
got this from santa. don't think i understood or cared about the tricks i just liked the drama of it all.
i loved this set. the cozy log for the woodsies to live in that velcroed shut. i think i will pretend i am a woodsie tonight. sleeping in my polyester log. i remember chewing on the little chairs and tables. very soft rubbery plastic. good for chewing. (it is being sold for $124.99 on ebay)
this was probably my favorite toy. i found fifty dollars outside on the street in front of my friends house. my friends parents took me to toys r us and i bought this. i also bought what is below on that trip.
okay maybe this was my favorite toy of all time. a stage with different backdrops and a CURTAIN and costumes (astronaut helmets, cmon). love it. want it now.
i think i got this when i was olderish. i lost the jacket and got permanent marker on his face. Great site about Billy Baloney!
The cream cheese got completely clumped into the mixer (also a gift, from parents.) Should have let it come to room temperature first.
Making the lime zest and juice.
Mixing it all up-- it had lime juice, zest, sweetened condensed milk three eggs. I think that's it.
Ready for the oven.
While it baked, I sugared the lime garnish with Martha Stewart Sanding Sugar (also a gift from the cutest boy in the world).
...and done.
I had a big ol' piece with some Cool Whip (as Paula Deen recommended) and seriously thought I was going into a sugar coma. It was really really good though. A small piece would have been fine. She asked that you just spread the whole tub of Cool Whip on. I didn't think it was a good idea. I added double the lime juice-- I would have added even more. I need more lime and less vanilly.
Yesterday I made some delicious Ritz Mints (courtesy of Martha Stewart) as a gift for a treasured friend. They are so easy-- recipe is here. I have always been excited by using things like corn flakes or Potato chips or whatever to make other things. Really turns me on, don't know why.
Just some Ritz
And some Chocolate with Mint
Cooling
Boxed Up
Ready to deliver to a festive holiday gathering where you can't drink because you're on antidepressants that aren't working.
As you know, I spent the last two summers glued to the internet and television watching Big Brother. One of my favorite houseguests, Dustin (a fellow Chicagoan) agreed to chat with me about Big Brother, Prince Harry and whats in his medicine cabinet.
Tell me three things you learned about being on Big Brother 8 and three things that you think the fans should know about the show. 1- EVERYONE is judgemental. Everyone. 2- Skinny people are miserable, ie Daniele 3- Conservative Christians still think homosexuality is a choice! Because apparently, they were asked.
Seeing as I never applied for Big Brother, and I really wasn't a fan of the show either, the whole process was a learning experience about the show. But I think its really important for fans to know that there is a producer who talks to you in the diary room. We don't just sit down and start venting, we're prompted for certain topics, opinions, thoughts, etc... They encourage strategic moves and/or decisions.
I'm sure you're sick of answering this question but watching "Evil Dick" basically gay bash you on the Internet was terrifying. I was totally brought back to junior high, which is his mentality. However, you voted for him to win over his daughter. Why?
I played the game strategically, not personally. When voting for the winner, I put personal issues aside; for both of them. She's SUCH a negative Nancy and he's an over-grown rebellious teen seeking attention. But game-wise, he played the game for two. Every move he made he did for her as well. No one else can say that. He played a strong game because if it were not for him, she would have been gone sooner than later. His comments and gay bashing didn't hurt me as much as it hurt others. What he did to the women in the house was in my eyes, much worse.
I still have 3 classes left to take for my major here and LA is dirty, tacky, and expensive. Some of my best friends live there, but Its not right for me right now. I'm much more a "New York City Boy" What is the craziest fan experience you've had and what's the most annoying thing people ask you?
Craziest Fan experience. I had a crier once. I was at the airport on my way from Minneapolis to Chicago and there was a woman who gasped, threw her hands over her head and cried. She didn't only take a photo with me, but of me as well. tying my shoe, digging in my bag, walking away. She straight up paparazzied my ass. A stranger also told me his best friend had died that day. That was bizarre too. You are studying fashion. What is your first fashion memory? What movies, celebrities, etc, influence your fashion sense? What are you trying to say with your sense of style?
My first fashion memory is my black overalls with choo-choo trains on them. I was 3; They were so fly and I was a pimp in them. I never wanted to take them off and I will never forget them. My sense of style is non-existent. I don't do patterns, I rarely wear colors, and I like simplicity. Classics with class I guess. Its important for me to have staple pieces on at all times. Great footwear is essential. For the summer in BB though, I packed all lounge wear which included the grey t-shirt.
Take me through a typical day with Dustin… Coffee, breakfast, and stretching in the morning, work all day, Gym by 6, dinner at 8; usually at home. Then I watch a movie, talk on the phone and pass out. Like clockwork though, I wake up at 2:45 AM and have a snack and a bottle of water, which is where I am now. Do you have a favorite Chicago bar/hangout and why? I RARELY go out. Statement of truth. So when I do, its by someone else's accord and I just go with the flow where they go. In the summer I love Foster Beach. Its low-key and down the street from me.
If you were to go to a therapist what issue do you think you'd spend the most time working on?.....Tell me more about that…. HAHAHA Trust issues! As you know from the show, there is a lot of trust that was broken in my one and only relationship to date. My best friend slept with my ex, family members have lied and stolen from me. There's just a lot of deceit in my past so its hard for me to trust others.
Can you tell me what you have in your medicine cabinet. Please list all the contents, brand names, etc. band-aids, neosporin, clean&clear astringent, Murray's pomade, MAC concealer, Tweezerman tweezers, Tweezerman toenail clipper, Renu contact solution, my glasses, an eyelash curler, back-up contacts, Target optical lens cleaner, sponges, various chapsticks with the labels peeled off, Arrid XX - Morning Clean, Dayquil, and Biore pore strips.
What are you asking Santa for this Christmas? Hunter Wellington Boots, black, size 43 and the Six Feet Under complete season DVD collection. Bets are high that I'll receive neither! I'm single dammit!
The Dustin Celebrity Playlist-- Name ten songs that we should be listening to? RJD2 - 1976 Scala & Kolacny Brothers - Heartbeats basement jaxx - Smoke Bubbles Seal - Waiting For You The Blow - Hey Boy Uffie - Pop the Glock Of Montreal - A Sentence of Sorts in Kortsvinger Hard-Fi - Move on Now Annie Lennox - Little Bird Original Broadway Cast of Fosse - Crunchy Granola Suite
I see that you like the Pet Shop Boys. Please tell my boyfriend why he should listen to them, he hates them. If you're feeling blue, and in the mood for some campy 80's electro-beats with an incredibly smooth lead singer, its all there! Lets face it, West End Girls is played EVERYWHERE, from Office Max to Tattoo Parlors. Everyone ought to love a little Pet Shop. I also see that you enjoy Madonna, what are your top three songs? Borderline, Frozen, and Holiday
So you and Prince Harry are on a date, after you've both snorted some vodka, what's your perfect evening? After having our photograph taken by the paparazzi, for future reference that this evening did, in fact, occur; We go back to the palace. He dresses up like the prince that he is and we equestrian ride for a few hours. I of course, get to wear riding boots. Then we snort more vodka, followed by smoking crumpets and eating tea. We sit in the royal throne for a minute while gazing at each other and do it right there on the palace floor. A sex tape is later "leaked" to the British media.
I want to thank Dustin so much for his time. Because of the writer's strike CBS is putting Big Brother back on the air this February. I am going to try like hell not to watch it. That's bullshit.
Tonight I got off my white ass and walked through the icy drizzle to my local Walgreens. I wanted to make Amy Sedaris' Huella's Chocolate Cake. Really getting into cooking and crafting lately. Can't get enough of it.
I'm a loyal customer to my Walgreens as there is no other place to buy foodstuffs and sundries in my neighborhood. There is a colorful cast of characters in this place that must like their jobs, because I don't see a lot of turnover. There is a very nice FTM trans gentleman, he is not the manager but he "can help you with whatever you need." I know because I asked for a manager to find out if it was really true that I could not buy cigarettes with my prescriptions and he told me gently but firmly that it was against their policy. Well there policy must have changed because I've been doing it since I lived here. They must have put a memo up about me. There are three very cranky ladies who I don't get along with. One is the "Beauty Advisor." Now I don't want to get mean, but she must follow the "do as I say, not as I do" philosophy. Maybe she's so burned out giving Walgreens beauty advice that she doesn't have anytime left for herself. All in all they are a very capable crew and I have had no problems. My favorite pharmacy tech is this beautiful woman who I think I really connect with. She is very motherly and smart. We kind of exchange these glances like we both "get it," you know?
Anyway so here are some pics of Amy Sedaris' Huella's Chocolate Cake. A very small cake that I used a too-big bundt pan for because I realized I didn't have another pan. I used Hershey's REAL DARK for the chocolate-- Um... F'ing Delicious!! I grated what I had left over the top.
Smoked a cigarette while mixin', ain't gonna hurt it none.
Could not get the damn thing out. Had to force it. I know all the tricks but it wasn't budging.
So it broke apart a little.
Mmmmm. Frosting made it better.
Throw a sequined poinsettia on it and call it a day.
My therapist told me that I live life in fantasies. Good fantasies, bad fantasies. That began as a child, escaping anything real and uncomfortable in my life. Pretending I was a gameshow host or fashioning a mermaid costume out of a sheet and cardboard to escape the horror of bombardment in gym or parents use of yelling as a form of communication.
My current fantasy, is of being a writer. Living in my Hollywood bungalow. Brilliant, funny scripts all over my dark wood desk. Working at home during the day, letting the dog outside. Pouring another cup of coffee, lighting another cigarette. Struggling with writers block. Investigating a lady from next door doing something loud outside. Struggling with mild depression. Standing alone during parties, looking put together but lonely. Taking a cigarette break outside on the balcony overlooking the lights of Los Angeles. Meeting a beautiful, hilarious, rapid cycling manic depressive girl on the balcony who somehow manages to seduce me even though I am gay. Letting her down easy and becoming best friends.
My current life could be someone else's fantasy I guess. Living in one of the greatest cities in the world. Struggling with a non specific depression. A frustrated but loyal boyfriend. Dependent on loving parents. Smart, anxious, sometimes funny, badly dressed. A hypochondriacal manchild who is more often than not, correct about his self diagnoses. Hopelessly lost in paper, student loans, cable bills, presumptuous offers from credit card companies.
Bad fantasies I have gotten caught up in run the gamut from being convinced of immediate death to being jailed for my own or someone elses fantasies. My parents leaving me, anyone leaving me. Quick and swift abandonment. Being jailed for writing a bad check at Walgreens. Leaving the oven on.
I have somehow managed to get back on a semi-spiritual track. I found my godspot through the following song (can you post a blog without a video anymore). I was laying in bed with my headphones on. My long limbed beautiful boyfriend next to me snoring his way through a dream sponsored by the Walt Disney Company. I began to travel through time with the help of Madonna and realized, again, that I am not the center of the universe and no matter what, things will be ok.
Forget your life Forget your problems Administration, Bills and Loans Come with me
I made a cake tonight and threw it in the garbage. I ruined it with a caramel frosting I made that turned into rock candy because I don't have a candy thermometer. It's on my christmas list now. I can't stand not knowing what temperature things are.
I also put up my Christmas tree, it looks the same as it did last year. Need new ornaments and need new tree. It's sort of a red/gold mess that I really got a charge out of three years ago.
I asked my parents if they wanted to have Chinese food on Christmas. That should be fun. Very A Christmas Story.
I love these Madonna Barbie Dolls someone is making. It's work that needs to be done. The miniature monkey purse makes me want to cut myself! So adorable.
My pediatrician had red Lucille Ball hair and very cold fingers. The nurse looked like Shelley Duvall. Once she came into say that the doctor was "tied up" and I thought that she was really tied up and that frightened me because everyone was acting like it was normal.
I had several ingrown toenail surgeries at that office. The nurse told me that cutting your toenails "is an art."
I have had this song in my head, non-stop for days. Beyonce and her infectious songs. "To the left! To the left! Everything you own in a box to the left! I can have another you in a minute. Matter fact he'll be here in a minute."
I am on a completely reversed sleep schedule. Goddam. Was supposed to go to the doctor today but they rescheduled. I am crazier than a mouse driving stick shift. Ah, what do you do?
I finished watching the entire first series of "Damages" on FX. A waste of time. I don't normally watch lawyery type shows because I have trouble following them. I was attracted to this one because its in New York City and it has Glenn Close in it and I liked the theme song/opening credits. That's about all I liked about it though-- lots of flashbacks and a confusing narrative thats more trouble than its worth.
I do want to be Glenn Close marching around in pantsuits, being very abrupt. Bluish gray lighting. Making billion dollar settlements with a smirk.
I'll probably watch next season.
My bipolar is acting up. They need to make some sort of cream or spray. Just spray the room down when the bipolar starts stinking up the room. I feel like bipolar is the new "neurotic." Just some blanket term to cover an enormous variety of symptoms that may or may not be connected. I mean I don't think these psychiatrists have any idea what the hell they are doing and all of us crazies are just paying for vacations to wherever psychiatrists vacation. I say get out of the car! Get! Out! I've been around the block several times. Several times. I know how this works and its a losing game.
