Sunday, April 26, 2009

3 Important Images

Eminem checking into rehab. Like a tragic version of a kid's first day of school.
I have been a fan of Marshall Mathers for awhile. He's blond and sexy and forbidden, allegedly homophobic- yes. But his lyrics are so raw they have brought me to tears on numerous occasions. I take pills that stop me from crying but Slim's lyrics break open the Lexapro dam and the floodwaters come rushing down.

The album cover for "Yes" by the Pet Shop Boys. Very positive, Obama-esque. I love the colors and the sentiment. The group is known for being a bit dreary. I like when they have an upbeat moment.

By Gerhard Richter. At The Art Institute of Chicago. Woman descending a staircase. This is what my life is about. This is it. This is everything. Uh, I have to lay down.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Grey Gardens with Kara

Today Kara and had fun paying tribute to Grey Gardens. Can't wait to see the movie!!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


It's time for me to create a healthy network of coworkers, friends, contacts, ex-lovers, sponsors, supervisors, high school and college alumni. I'm not talking about any facebookery, tweetering or linked-in-ing. I'm talking actual phone numbers on a cell phone and meetups for brunch. I want my schedule to be full of dinners, theatre goings and creative jam sessions.

Soon, I'll be rushing into a Starbucks meeting Steve, a former co-worker who has moved on happily to running his own web-based pottery exchange. I'll lend an ear to his brainstorms and he'll help me out with "NUDE JAM!"- the nude poetry jam I'm organizing for charity. We'll talk over each other and pretend to listen to each other's ideas and one of us will have to get going and the other of us will say that's fine because we really have to get going too.

I'll be one of those people who is always talking on public transportation about some upcoming event in the future- going over the details, looking in my datebook, holding a pen. I'll laugh REAL loud at things that aren't really funny and the person on the other line will say they have to go and I'll say that's fine because I'm on the bus or the train and I should go too. I'll wait a few seconds and call someone else and leave a message about the last phone call I just made, slightly insulting the person I just previously talked to.

I'll have to change at work from my work clothes to my evening clothes because I'll always have something and somewhere I have to be. I will NOT be exhausted and lethargic and only want to come home and watch Roseanne reruns. I will be spending most of my time Downtown now, the best place, really, for all of us to connect. The key word- connect. I'll eat very little and become one of those very skinny skinny fashionable gay boys who has a lot going on and likes to let everyone know it. I'll tell you about my improv classes and business trips and how I've quit smoking as I step outside for a cigarette with you.

I'll come home late and drunk but I'll wake up feeling refreshed and healthy. The next morning I'll slide easily into my seasonally appropriate menswear- a crisp pressed shirt and slacks and form fitting jacket/coat. I'll go global before 8 am- connected to all my Ipod-Touches and Bluetooths and Palm Pilot and Kindels. I'll walk confidently down the street with a credit card that actually works in my wallet. I'll buy my morning coffee with lots of sugar and lots of cream. I'll deposit a healthy tip in the plexiglass tip jar for the twenty something bisexual barista behind the counter.

I'll work on working out the details. I'll consider touching base or reconnecting with that one that seemed like a possibility. The one with the good job and shaved head and good shoes. I'll talk it over confidentially with my twelve closest friends. We'll analyze him and try to understand his motivations and intentions in phone calls made from my bed. I'll drift off in an Ambien haze and wake up and start all over again.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Tour of my Apartment

It's fucking snowing outside and it's April and this hasn't been the best winter for me so I'd like to forget winter but it's haunting me, every time I turn around it's there. I thought I'd give you a tour of my home.

This is mission control. You'd think I was super busy. You'd think I could create something real special with the cup of markers and the cellphone and the laptop at my disposal. You'd think with all the cigarettes and caffeine I could get something going.

Dishes. These are what I have to do tonight if I can summon the strength of Hercules and the mental stability of Barack Obama.

As you can see I take fashion very seriously as any gay man does and should. Every garment is given the utmost attention and respect. These are high quality fabrics and I am proud to wear them everyday. Each morning, I have a hard time choosing what to wear. They are all so beautiful.

QVC on the tv. This is a really soothing photo for me. I really can't get enough of it right now. I won't go on anymore. This is my POV of life right now.

I really like that bright pink towel. It's caked with toothpaste spit but I really like the color.

One bookshelf. The top half contains my cookbooks. I really like my Martha cookbooks a lot- gifts from Erik and my parents. A year of Martha Stewart and Domino magazines.

This is the shelf by bed. The obligatory can of Pepsi for late night refreshment. Kleenex box with some sort of Tuscan harvest theme. I don't blow my nose so the top tissue probably has some dust on it. Blowing my nose just creates more of a problem I have been told. On the second shelf to the right is my stack of Playbills I have collected over the years. Erik is very blase about playbills.

I've always said your bed should be a luxurious oasis.

DVD collection for the curious.

My garbage for the curious or the bi-curious.

A sampling of some art (or pictures framed) from my home.

Geoffrey Todd Smith's rollercoaster. I love it. Such a metaphor for life, really, wouldn't you say. Erik wants there to be some trees.

A blurry Mapplethorpe.

Painting I found in the garbage of my apartment building.

Keith Haring in a bathtub, also in my bathroom. I like this picture a lot.

A great picture of Bette Midler.

A great picture from SEX by Madonna. It reminds me of all my dear lady friends.

Picture of me and Kara in Villains frame, an Oscar from Heather's Mom and a Lucy present from my sweet boyfriend. I will not take them out of the boxes anymore. I promise. I won't.

Except for this one. She needs to get out and dance!

Well that's it. Thanks for coming over and thanks for sticking through until the end. Excuse me while I sit back and relax and listen to some music on my cheap $20 Mp3 player I bought at Walgreens. See you next time.