Saturday, April 04, 2009

Tour of my Apartment

It's fucking snowing outside and it's April and this hasn't been the best winter for me so I'd like to forget winter but it's haunting me, every time I turn around it's there. I thought I'd give you a tour of my home.

This is mission control. You'd think I was super busy. You'd think I could create something real special with the cup of markers and the cellphone and the laptop at my disposal. You'd think with all the cigarettes and caffeine I could get something going.

Dishes. These are what I have to do tonight if I can summon the strength of Hercules and the mental stability of Barack Obama.

As you can see I take fashion very seriously as any gay man does and should. Every garment is given the utmost attention and respect. These are high quality fabrics and I am proud to wear them everyday. Each morning, I have a hard time choosing what to wear. They are all so beautiful.

QVC on the tv. This is a really soothing photo for me. I really can't get enough of it right now. I won't go on anymore. This is my POV of life right now.

I really like that bright pink towel. It's caked with toothpaste spit but I really like the color.

One bookshelf. The top half contains my cookbooks. I really like my Martha cookbooks a lot- gifts from Erik and my parents. A year of Martha Stewart and Domino magazines.

This is the shelf by bed. The obligatory can of Pepsi for late night refreshment. Kleenex box with some sort of Tuscan harvest theme. I don't blow my nose so the top tissue probably has some dust on it. Blowing my nose just creates more of a problem I have been told. On the second shelf to the right is my stack of Playbills I have collected over the years. Erik is very blase about playbills.

I've always said your bed should be a luxurious oasis.

DVD collection for the curious.

My garbage for the curious or the bi-curious.

A sampling of some art (or pictures framed) from my home.

Geoffrey Todd Smith's rollercoaster. I love it. Such a metaphor for life, really, wouldn't you say. Erik wants there to be some trees.

A blurry Mapplethorpe.

Painting I found in the garbage of my apartment building.

Keith Haring in a bathtub, also in my bathroom. I like this picture a lot.

A great picture of Bette Midler.

A great picture from SEX by Madonna. It reminds me of all my dear lady friends.

Picture of me and Kara in Villains frame, an Oscar from Heather's Mom and a Lucy present from my sweet boyfriend. I will not take them out of the boxes anymore. I promise. I won't.

Except for this one. She needs to get out and dance!

Well that's it. Thanks for coming over and thanks for sticking through until the end. Excuse me while I sit back and relax and listen to some music on my cheap $20 Mp3 player I bought at Walgreens. See you next time.


  1. Catherine L8:21 PM

    This was so titillating that I had trouble breathing. Actually!

  2. Anonymous8:23 PM

    Hi Jeremy I really liked your apartment tour Joseph