Tuesday, June 28, 2005

yes, shame on pride

Oh yes, I agree the gay pride parades all across the land have become too corporate, too big, too exploitive. It's just not the way it was. I remember my first pride 30 years ago. Now that was nice, a better time. Things were much better for the gays then.

Let's go back to a simpler time when there was none of this craziness... corporate sponsorship, Miller Lite necklaces and Red Bull sponsored drag queens. It's tacky, dirty. Tanned muscular men gyrating to dance music (the music itself, so corporate- disgusting!) Frankly, I am embarrassed.

Let's put our shirts back on, throw away our freedom rings. In fact let's let that crazy rascal in the White House know, along with the American Family Association that we, the homosexuals, are also sick of this. Let's clickty clack some angry emails letting them know that we don't need Kraft Foods, or anyone else for that matter, to sponsor us. Of course, this will bring in less money. We can have smaller parades, maybe block parties. Or we can have individual parades, by ourselves, alone, in our houses, with the shades drawn- away from all of the hot dancing boys that make me feel uncomfortable about my body.

Let's make ourselves less visible. Let's get rid of that pesky media! Again, it's supposed to be our parade. Media visibility has never done anything to bring about any kind of change.

You know what, let's just shut down the parade all together. I'm sure ol' W and his buddies would be behind that. Let's shut down the parade, and shut down these tacky neighborhoods with annoying rainbow flags and expensive gay friendly bars and merchants.

Things are really out of control. Let's join the majority of the country and say we want to go back to the way it was.

Sunday, June 26, 2005


i know i havent been putting out a lot of positive energy on this thing lately, and i apologize. i have had a good weekend. i've hung out with all of my best friends. lots of drinkin and smokin. just the way i like it. i am grateful to have such a great group of friends who put up with me.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

hard time getting a sentence out

I'm in Crystal Lake where I grew up. It's humid and too quiet. I can see why I went crazy here.

In Chicago everyone is crazy. In Crystal Lake, everyone is crazy too but they pretend like they are normal. That is why it's so creepy here.

I feel like all the connections and frienships I have made are hanging by a thread. This is my craziness talking, not the way things really are. Just feeling really raw, tender. Like a piece of meat.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

take a bow

"Madonna was shocked at a recent signing appearance to promote her children's books -- because the crowd was almost entirely made up of gay men.
The pop star expected to see a host of young children with their parents lining up to have their copy of "The Adventures Of Abdi" signed -- but only spotted one youngster during the whole session.
'It was all gay men apart from one woman with her child,' she said. 'I was so shocked.'
World Entertainment News Network

You know what, Madonna, we're just as confused as you. I remember when your first children's book came out, I bought it for the daughter of one of my best friends. I didn't read it, I just felt like I needed to purchase a copy. My friend never really commented on receiving it for her child. "Great, Madonna's children's book," she must have thought.

If you started endorsing frozen peas and had a signing at a grocery store for your frozen peas we'd all be lined up outside the grocery store to buy our bag of Madonna's Frozen Peas and to see you. I don't even like peas, but I'd be there because, like it or not, I'm a lifelong fan.

I don't think you should be shocked that only gay men showed up for your book signing. As retarted as it is, we put you where you are. We defended you from Dick Tracy to Body of Evidence to Swept Away. So why not give a little something back that doesn't require us to float around the children's section at Borders like hungry pedophiles.

Let's get to work before it's too late:

1) Let's go ahead and finish that tour documentary and cut out all the shit about the Kaballah. Let's not get all Tom Cruise right now, I don't think I can take it.

2) No more songs about how you used to be obsessed with fame and fashion but now you're seeing the light. We got the point four records ago.

3) No more movies with your husband. Find another Evita. Another extended music video movie that'll will win you an Oscar, so we can move on. Call Baz Luhrman or dig up some old Bob Fosse musical.

4) Forget adding your voice to the Puss N' Boots, Shrek sequel sequel. It's a waste of time.

5) Give us another "Into the Groove"/"Music"/"Vogue" that we can shake our sagging gay asses and overdeveloped thirtysomething/fortysomething pot bellies to. We don't have a lot of time left on the dance floor in the back until we have to take our seat at the bar in the front of the club. You know it and I know it.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

too many people at once

I passed by my old therapist's office today. I didn't realize I was so close to it. I felt an urge to call her, maybe make an appointment, tell her I live close to her office. Then I thought that's silly because I don't really need to see her. Then I felt a little nervous thinking, "Do I need to see her?"

I don't think so. I just wanted to see her. Maybe feeling a little lonely. Luckily, I have a job lined up for next week.

It just occured to me that it is not my responsibility to act cheerful or "together" just to make others comfortable. I'm not sure if that makes any sense.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being dishonest about how I really feel- pretending I'm okay with something that I'm not okay with. Like I get caught up in and begin tripping over my lies. Except they're not really lies, just misrepresentations of how I feel about things. Then I forget how I feel about things and then I get disoriented in relationships.

Yeah, I'm not sure I even understand this.

Can't we shake it up a little?

Rather than hearing people say

"I LOVE Motown."
"I love The Gap."
"I LOVE Kahlua."
"Oh, I love Jim Carrey."
"I love The Olive Garden."

I'd rather hear

"I love heroin."
"I LOVE when you slap me."
"I love the smell of your socks."