Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Life is a ball again

I don't know what you were doing Monday night but I took my hair down, put on my best imitation silk pajamas and kicked back with Suzanne Somers and the gang on HSN for Suzanne Somers' HSN PJ Party!

Suzanne's introducing her new Fall line of high quality/low priced cosmetics, apparel, jewelry, diet books, low calorie desserts and on and on. You name it Suzanne makes it.

Suzanne and co host Bobbi Ray Carter can barely hold it together they're having such a good time. Suzanne gets so wild. I'm in hysterics myself, I can't imagine what it must be like to be on the set. In fact, Suzanne and Bobbi frequently say, "I can't believe this is a job this is so much fun!"

When they can pull themselves away from the craziness, Suzanne and Bobbi will take the time to answer some calls from HSN viewers. So many of the callers are cancer survivors or they just lost their jobs or they have trouble getting around but they love Suzanne's products too. Suzanne and Bobbi will ask them which product they bought and encourage them to buy more of the same item in a different color or maybe a piece of jewelry that would compliment their Somerstrech pants.

"Why not take advantage of our deal today and save yourself time and money and buy several pink faux fur vests for Christmas gifts!" they will suggest. The callers usually appreciate this advice and take them up on their suggestion. It really is a good idea. Christmas is right around the corner.

Those two are a kick! Can you believe Suzanne is a grandmother? She looks great-- all that Somersizing. I guess Suzanne's grandchildren think she's the cats pajamas too. She said they will go home and tell their mom "Grandma lets us eat Dove bars for breakfast!" Can you imagine-- Dove Bars for breakfast!!! So decadent.

Well, next time you aren't doin something in the evening and are depressed because you are single, you have a wierd rash, you're never gonna amount to anything and you owe money to every single person you know--- Tune it to Suzanne Somers' HSN PJ Party on HSN and kick back and relax with the ladies.

My Shopping Cart:

Suzanne Somers Faux Reversible Vest
HSN Price: $119.00
Sale Price: $110.00

Suzanne Somers Faux Cashmere Ruffle Shawl
HSN Price: $99.90
Only 10 left

Suzanne Somers Tall-Shaft Boot with Ties
HSN Price: $63.50

Thursday, September 16, 2004

ahluvit! ahluvit! ahluvit!

Just finished watching the Apprentice. I haven't been this into a reality show since the early days of The Real World. I don't care if it's all scripted (which I don't think it is). I love being on the edge of my seat.

My favorite right now is Carolyn, Trump's second banana. She scares the shit out of me. I can't imagine what she'd think of me. I'm like a small smudge on a window to her. I tend to like women that scare me.

I feel a lot better than I did the last couple of days, in large part to Kara and my mom.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

afterschool special

I'm going to throw out all my music. It's garbage. Burn all my clothes. My fan that i insist on having directly on my face while I sleep goes in the garbage. My stupid penny jar, my "Disney Villains" coffee cup, my alarm clock that Kara probably wants to shove down my throat, my computer that has to have the cover off to work, dumb used books I buy, all my prescriptions-- everything goes.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

God Bless America!

Tonight I had dinner at McDonald's. Two delicious Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, a large fry and a medium coke. It was so good. I felt kind of sick afterwards but it was so good.

Then I came home and watched Joey, which was ok. Next, I watched "The Apprentice." Maybe it was the two beers- but I love that show and I love Donald Trump and I love gold furniture!

I should probably be eating dinner somewhere else. I should be eating something with cold sesame noodles and cilantro. I should be going to poetry readings or at least communicating with another live human.

But tonight with my Miller Lites, and my Camel Lights and my McDonalds and The Donald-- I was in heaven.

Like an old lady in a nursing home, beaten and battered by life- I want my programs and my smokes and my fish sandwich.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

another dream

I had a dream I delivered puppies from a black dog at a craft fair.