Hello and welcome to Another Very Merry Christmas Jeremy Show Special. I hope your enjoying the holiday as much as I am. I have a great evening planned for all of us with Christmas tips, lots of fabulous guests and imaginary food and drinks. Thanks for stopping by, I think you'll be glad you did.
Let's start with a holiday tip.
I can't remember where I heard this but this is the best advice I ever heard about surviving the holidays. Ready, here it is-- Expect Nothing. Whether it's love, acceptance, approval, good food, good sex or simply a nice time you expect this Christmas- It is not guaranteed.
We all have very elaborate plans and fantasies about the way things should go during the holidays. Not to be a Scrooge, but many of these plans and fantasies won't go the way we imagined them. That's ok though.
Christmas can be a very magical time. It is not based in reality-- it is a wonderful magical imaginative place in our mind where elves build toys and men climb down chimneys. It is linked to our imaginations when we were children. I think this is why it can be so emotional.
So my goal this Christmas is to expect nothing, to try to control nothing. I will look at the pretty lights, watch some movies, be with my family, maybe have a few drinks and let the snowflakes fall where they fall. Adopting this very zen attitude about Christmas has saved me from setting a few Christmas trees on fire.
On that note, I would like to introduce my first guests- The Pet Shop Boys singing "It Doesn't Often Snow At Christmas." Take it away Elton...
Now it's time for a Christmas Recipe from my kitchen to yours. I actually make this spicy, greasy delicious dish myself. Feel free to use it as a delicious addition to your Christmas table.
Clinical Depression Double Layer Jalepno Delight
1 bag of Krunchers Jalepeno potato chips
1 bag of Chihahua Cheese (can substitute any meltable cheese)
1 microwavable bowl
Empty one half bag of chips into the microwavable bowl. Empty half bag of cheese on to the chips. Empty the rest of the bag of chips and top with remaing cheese. Microwave for 1.5-2 minutes. Eat with fingers.
No Christmas is complete without a visit from Judy Garland. This clip makes me tear up thinking about the ridiculous amount of soldiers that are in Iraq away from their families for absolutely no reason. I don't normally think of such things, but I've taken a step away from the Rosie Trump scandal to think about something more important for a change. Hopefully, "Next year all our troubles will be miles away." I send them Christmas greetings. I don't know if they want my faggoty Jeremy Show Christmas greetings, but they have them if they want them. Anyway, here is a great clip of Judy with clips of soldjas.
If you want, write a letter to a soldier.
Well, time for my special gentleman to pick me up on his sleigh and take me over the river and through the woods to my parents house. I really do wish you a really great Christmas and remember to chill out, be zen, and just enjoy the break.
I thought we'd drop in on Joan Crawford and see what's going on at her house during the holidays.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Like most people, Christmas for me is all about celebrity endorsed products. That is why I was very excited when I saw the ad for the perfume, "Danielle." It's a literary scent. This year, Danielle has been in her laboratory creating an olifactory story. A novel for the nose!
The perfect gift for me is always going to be found on either HSN, QVC or the "As Seen On TV" section. I have been eyeing Pamela Anderson's teeth whitening system all year at my local Walgreens. Suzanne Somers sells frozen steaks on QVC. Also (as mentioned above) any perfume sold by a celebrity is a good idea when shopping for me- Britney Spears' "Curious," J.Lo's "Glow," or Antonio Banderas' "Spirit." I plan to create a shelf or a special area to display these unusual bottles in my apartment.