Wednesday, December 29, 2004

MAMA NEEDS A JOB



Going a little crazy trying to find a job. Although I do love morning television, there really is a limit to how much Star Jones and Kelly Ripa a boy can take. Seriously, if you have ANY leads or can provide ANY help looking for a job I would greatly appreciate it. I really don't want to move back in with my parents.

My Skillset:

-can make good foam for a cappucino
-make pretty good mix cds
-have had extensive experience in therapy (very good at dimestore psychology)
-outstanding lipsynching (must be seen to be believed)
-pretty good at trivial pursuit, except sports and geography questions
-certified in food sanitation
-have worked selling big macs, artificial chrismtas trees and commercial wallpaper
-performed in two, two person shows, Chicago Reader called me "a freaky gay boy" and said that i did a dead on impersonation of a school counselor, "Hilarious"
-very good at putting me or my friend's heads on celebrity bodies using Photoshop
-can hookup vcrs and dvd players very quickly
-good with my nephews (except playing Pokemon or YuGiOh--- dont like it, dont understand it, not interested)
-know all the lines to Annie
-can do long division

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:48 AM

    Hi Jeremy, this is Andy. A position is opening up in Special Collections (my department) at the Newberry. There's no posting now because they wait two weeks to see if someone internally wants to apply, but if you'd like I can talk to you about it. The pay is awful but there are perks: reading while on the job, sparkling coworker personalities, the occasional view of illuminated manuscripts or Ben Hecht's Oscar, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:21 PM

    Hi Jeremy, this is joey. Long division could come in handy!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dude, I think you and I are livng the same life.

    ReplyDelete