Wednesday, April 05, 2006

right here, right now

today i woke up and decided that i was going to try and look like i am not homeless. hard to do when you haven't done laundry in about a month.

i'm having a little bit of anxiety about how i don't have anxiety right now. i'm used to a crushing, squeezing sensation in my chest and stomach. i'm used to feeling like my head is stuck in vice. but right now, im feeling a little like, hmm at peace.

i just realized it's because i took a ativan. hahahaha. i seriously forgot i took that. that explains it (now i'm anxious because i think that i'm losing short term memory).

i'm sitting at computer Kiosk 1A at Columbia College waiting for my class to start. Lots of other busy little bees typing-- myspacing, emailing, blog reading themselves away. real heavy breather next to me in a mustard sweat suit and baseball cap turned to one side. seriously sounds like he is snoring.

a lot of really unfortunate outfits:
decoratively frayed denim jacket numbers
floral ties
bad black painters jeans
hoodies (mmmm, throw a hoodie on and some pajama pants-- so comfy! barf)
big stupid black sneakers with dirt all over them
whimsical hipster t-shirts with unrecognizable and senseless designs that no one knows what the hell it is

if you look around you can really make yourself feel better by criticizing what other people wear (even if you look like shit yourself). you should try it.

now, that's not the kind of karma i should be putting out into the world. i send love and light to all god's children. the lord is my shepherd.

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