Feel like I am not taking action but I am. I have contacted people for help, have emailed about jobs. It is hard to do when you are so low. A sickness. An illness. Definitely. No matter how I spin it, no matter how much I blame myself. The evidence is here.
It is critical that I remember this. Once I turn on myself, blame myself-- it's over. The difference between a headache (sadness) and a brain tumor (depression). There are things I can do to help myself but I can't, I can't, can't forget that this is with me for life. Have to learn how to manage it better. Have to have all the safety nets in place always.
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I want to cry as I write this. Something holds me back. Probably some medication. I am not doing well and probably shouldn't be posting this. It's a testament, though. Perhaps helpful to others.
I will get through this. The only way out is through.
"The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better
The only way out is through ultimately
The only way out is through
The only way we'll feel better
The only way out is through ultimately" -Alanis
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