I went out to brunch today with a good friend of mine and her boyfriend. They chose to sit in non-smoking. Actually, they tried to pass off some lie about it being non smoking during breakfast...I wasn't buying it. But hey, I'm flexible whatever.
Whenever, I go to a restaurant and I can't smoke and I smile and act like it's no big deal-- I AM REALLY PANICKING INSIDE. I don't know what it is. I think I am worried about the conversation that I am (by normal social standards) expected to take part in. I find it much easier to talk with a cigarette in my hand.
Today, I went outside the restaurant, while we were waiting for our food and had a cigarette and realized that it is spring! The garbage smelled sweeter. The clothes were shorter. People seemed happier. I felt like I was on vacation.
I went back in the restaurant and said, "I feel like I'm in California." This announcement was met with a quizzical, "Really?"
Talking to people is hard.
