Some blog posts that got lost on the cutting room floor...
Remembering Doctors
11/25/07
My pediatrician had red Lucille Ball hair and very cold fingers. The nurse looked like Shelley Duvall. Once she came into say that the doctor was "tied up" and I thought that she was really tied up and that frightened me because everyone was acting like it was normal.
I had several ingrown toenail surgeries at that office. The nurse told me that cutting your toenails "is an art."
Psychiatric Ghetto
8/22/07
I was waiting at a bus stop at Sheridan and Wilson, on my way to a doctors appointment. A man sitting on the bench was shouting, "Completely unhappy, completely unhappy, completely unhappy..."
How well said. How simply put. This area of Chicago has been dubbed by some to be the "Psychiatric Ghetto." I don't know the specifics of why, when or how this area came to be the home of so many clearly deinstutionalized mentally ill people but on this day and many others I felt like I fit right in. It felt like being at an outdoor psych ward.
frogs
8/22/07
Seems like lately before I sit down to write I have big plans, but as soon as I sit down I am overcome with a sense of self disgust and cant bring myself to write. I mean look at that last sentence, forchristsakes! Will muddle through this somehow, I guess.
It's been tough times for mama as per usual. I had a dream I was pooping frogs. For reals. It was terrifying. Baby frogs were coming out of my butt. I shouldn't be sharing this. That is a dream of the hopelessly insane. But its the truth. I don't mean to delve into this too deeply but:
Bowel movement
To dream that you have a bowel movement, signifies that you are successfully getting rid of your old habits/ways and thinking patterns. It is usually analogous to the release of strong emotions, such as anger and anger. insidedreams.com
untitled
8/14/07
dreamed i was working at some haunted mansion ride/ school. prince was there and he looked very attractive. i got along with everyone really well and knew a lot of the people that worked there. thats it.
wrapped around your finger
7/5/07
I dreamt that Sting and The Police were giving a concert in China. They were singing a very moving anti-communist version of "I'll Be Wrapped Around Your Finger." It was beautiful.
I had this dream because I watched a very sad documentary called Seoul Train about North Korean immigrants trying to get to South Korea by way of China. Also because I saw an old clip of Sting performing that song on Live Aid AND because I was watching "The World Series of Pop Culture," where one of the questions was about the song. My brain had a field day with that one.
I also dreamt that I was at Cory and Ann's wedding. Carol Burnett and Oprah were there.
untitled
7/5/07
i remember listening to my whoopi goldberg record. she did four or five characters that were funny and really rocked my twelve year old world. i just saw a whoppi goldberg special on bravo, it brought me back to that time. when you would sit and watch or listen to a program and take it all in. no promos, no links to websites, no invitations to interact or vote.
i just hope that kids these days are being inspired and delighted like i was by my whoopi goldberg and joan rivers and bette midler records. it was an adult world that i was exposed to- smart and mysterious. things i didnt understand.
i dont know what im saying. i just think everything is so fast paced and ter
Showing posts with label deleted scenes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deleted scenes. Show all posts
Monday, February 11, 2008
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Unposted Blog Entries
And now... back by popular demand-- Unposted Blog Entries.
These are posts that, for whatever reason, I chose to put in The Jeremy Show Vault rather than post. Now for a limited time, they are available for you at no charge.
3/28/07
lighten up jeremy
i just made a pot of coffee at 8 pm and i'm feeling guilty about that. jesus f'ing christ- i just need to lighten up for pete's sake. why must i feel guilty and anxious about every goddam thing ever. i DID NOT drop the bomb on hiroshima. that was not my fault. i want the freedom to pee all over my hotel room floor and not feel guilty about it. okay maybe thats pushing it.
rigidity. it comes down to rigidity and insecurity. it comes down to so much. superstition and magic thinking. let's do some cognitive therapy, lets explore psychology together-- shall we?
I am a real expert at what cognitive therapists call overgeneralizing and catastrophizing. let's start with the coffee.
The simple action that starts it:
I am drinking a cup of coffee at 8 pm.
So this is what goes on in my head:
I am obviously stupid and irresponsible. Normal people don't drink cups of coffee at 8 pm. Unless they are out to dinner- but I am such a bad person that I don't even have any friends to go out with for dinner. This is because I have an self diagnosed anxiety disorder which isn't being treated. I have other self diagnosed disorders as well, post traumatic stress disorder, agoraphobia (except I have the strain that allows me to leave the house for cigarettes and fast food and movies). I have all kinds of obscure but very serious addictions. I have also decided that I have a vestibular disorder. Which involves something about dizziness and the inner ear, I haven't looked into it too much but I'm sure this is something that I am dealing with. Not to mention hypochondriasis.
This all from making a cup of coffee. Too much time to think. That's why I'm pounding away at this keyboard.
I think I would like a drink. A margarita or something with tequila to make me feel smooth and silly and sexy. I need a cute latino waiter smiling and watching as I fall into a giggly rabbit hole where everything is very curious.
But as I have learned, being here in the LA, I need to stay on my treatment. Nothing need interfere with my treatment. Unless I have a safe place and a guardian. Someone to watch over as I enjoy a safe drunken playground.
Will I ever not need a treatment plan?
3/28/07
in the trash
I think I would like a drink. A margarita or something with tequila to make me feel smooth and silly and sexy. I need a cute latino waiter smiling and watching as I fall into a giggly rabbit hole where everything is very curious.
But alkiholl tends to interfere with the treatment plan set up so lovingly by my doctor.
Name is J. Wells and I am a very important business man who makes good money, good benefits and has a stockpile of 401K and other such plans that make me indestructible. I walk confidently down major metropolitan streets paying little attention to passers by. I talk directly into my cellular phone with friends and colleagues about upcoming deals. My suit and shoes and hair are tailored and perfected. Hair appointments on a regular basis.
Oh! I can't even fake it. Who are these men that ride about town on their success and big dicks? What families did they come from, what were they doing when they were eleven? Big hands. So many men with these big hands and big feet and perfect hair and suits.
I am from a different stock, clearly. I see myself as sort of decoupage. ugh im sick of myself. stop. done.
memory flood
4/26/07
staying at heathers house after meltdown reading prozac nation watching barbra streisand 94 concert on vhs and i love lucy road trip to la feeling safe. fourth of july in hot hot apartment, geoffrey was out, kara and i watched jennifer lopez movie- out of sight, while puerto ricans shot off fireworks loud loud. hillarys apartment after not getting on flight to san diego, hillary was sick, i was not
time to put memories away for awhile
Well God Bless America. Shit. I can't believe the ridiculousness. Things fall apart. For sure things fall apart. I cant believe how
4/26/07
The Secret
In the spirit of "The Secret," here is my visualization for the future.
Come see me perform.
Welcome to my home. Understated. Subtle.
5/20/07
Untitled
yesterday i was sad because i was out to lunch and it was very sunny and i was looking out the window and there were so many people
5/22/07
regret
i am afraid to write this. keep deleting my thoughts. i am depressed. simple as that. simple as that. occasional moments of clarity, brilliance. on the whole, depressed. and i hurt the ones i love with this thing that i have and the way i handle it. push them away without even knowing it.
responsibility. a word that doesnt apply, falls off me like i am covered in teflon. sabotaging myself.
writing again in annoying oddly constructed sentences.
“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” Rollo May
5/22/07
Captain Depression
I have returned. Captain Depression! Able to dissapoint everyone I know, everywhere I go! Leaving parties, jobs, bars in seconds for no reason! Turning a normal social situation into an awkward disaster right before your very eyes.
Walking Pneumonia
I acquired this illness shortly before my graduation from college. Lots of coughing-hot-cold-chills-wanting-to-sleep-a-lot. I was given a prescription to Tussinex a pain reliever with Codeine for the coughing. While riding this beautiful train and enjoying the warm buzz I became seriously convinced that I would be forever addicted to opiates and die a heroin addict. Luckily I polished off the bottle and have been sober for ovr a week. I wont be making any heroin deals anytime soon. Knock on wood.
My recovery has been slow. I admit that I have continued smoking. I smoke. I smoke a lot. A lot. Always smoking. If you catch me somewehere, waiting for a bus, outside a resteraunt, in the shower- I will be smoking. Rumor has it that smoking is not advised while one tries to heal from pneumonia. I cant stop. Or dont want to stop. I dont want to stop.
I am afraid to stop smoking. I don't know what I will be like. I have terrible anxiety now- who knows what it will be like when I am trying not to smoke. I know that I could handle it though. Strange how chemical addictions work. A drug telling your body to tell your brain that you need it to survive. This is not true. I dont need to smoke to survive.
Anyway, I didnt want to go down this road. Talk of addiction and smoking.
Okay all of this has been depression soaked ranting. Full of gloom and doom signifying nothing. Garbage.
Depression Crisis Plan
During the times I have been hospitalized there were very peppy counselors who went on about a depression crisis plan. I have never done one. Why I am choosing to do this now on the internet is just me being hungry for attention. If this is what it takes for me to do it then this is what it takes for me to do it. Maybe you will learn something from it. I'll pretend I'm Oprah. A depressed smoking Oprah.
When I am feeling well, I am (describe yourself when you are feeling well):
active, busy, working or studying, eating relatively well, sleeping ok, in contact with friends and family
The following symptoms indicate that I am no longer able to make decisions for myself, that I am no longer able to be responsible for myself or to make appropriate decisions.
5/23/07
a failure of character
i have been suffering from depression for probably ten years. i am a survivor of this disease. i have hit bottom many times, had to pull myself back up with the help of hospitalizions, doctors, therapists, family and friends.
throughout all of this, there is a chorus, sometimes in my head, sometimes out of my head that tells me that i am lazy, that i am doing something wrong, that i am flawed, just not doing something right.
this blog stands as a testament to the fact that i am happy to admit my flaws. but i do not think that my flaws (smoking, laziness, too much big brother, etc) are the cause of my depression. and i think that when i think this way it is dangerous.
medicine can't fix everything. and the companies that produce the medication are evil like every other company in the world. but medication has saved me.
i am going through a very difficult time right now. having just graduated from school i dont know what to do with myself. i dont know if this triggered my current bout of depression-- i am working to get over this.
6/7/07
are you absolutley serious?
god bless you for continuing to read this piece of crap. please feel free to exit at any point.
When I was fourteen I started working at McDonalds at the suggestion of my mother. I am unclear about my thought process back then. Did I want to work there? Or was it that my mother told me to. And was that enough for me to do something back then. Anyway, I continued working there until I was 24. I had other jobs here and there but McDonalds was the bulk of it.
I remember looking out the drive thru window and thinking I don't have to do this anymore. I could work in an office, get paid more, and do less. So I started temping.
I worked for the gas company. I was a landscaping and paving clerk. Artificial Christmas tree salesman. Wallpaper librarian. Production Assitant for television shows.
Always uncomfortable and very stressful. But managable I think. Somehow I managed. And now because I have been out of work I am
6/13/07
a little bit of love goes a long long way
Never thought I'd be saying this but hooray for Enrique Iglesias. Serenading a gay fan. One of the cutest things I've seen in awhile people. Makes me a little sick, but its great.
6/18/07
10:24
It is important to have things to look forward to. I am looking forward to:
-going back to school one day
-writing a comic play
-seeing sandra bernhard again
Untitled
6/23/07
I am very excited about the new Big Brother. I hope it does not dissapoint.
These are posts that, for whatever reason, I chose to put in The Jeremy Show Vault rather than post. Now for a limited time, they are available for you at no charge.
3/28/07
lighten up jeremy
i just made a pot of coffee at 8 pm and i'm feeling guilty about that. jesus f'ing christ- i just need to lighten up for pete's sake. why must i feel guilty and anxious about every goddam thing ever. i DID NOT drop the bomb on hiroshima. that was not my fault. i want the freedom to pee all over my hotel room floor and not feel guilty about it. okay maybe thats pushing it.
rigidity. it comes down to rigidity and insecurity. it comes down to so much. superstition and magic thinking. let's do some cognitive therapy, lets explore psychology together-- shall we?
I am a real expert at what cognitive therapists call overgeneralizing and catastrophizing. let's start with the coffee.
The simple action that starts it:
I am drinking a cup of coffee at 8 pm.
So this is what goes on in my head:
I am obviously stupid and irresponsible. Normal people don't drink cups of coffee at 8 pm. Unless they are out to dinner- but I am such a bad person that I don't even have any friends to go out with for dinner. This is because I have an self diagnosed anxiety disorder which isn't being treated. I have other self diagnosed disorders as well, post traumatic stress disorder, agoraphobia (except I have the strain that allows me to leave the house for cigarettes and fast food and movies). I have all kinds of obscure but very serious addictions. I have also decided that I have a vestibular disorder. Which involves something about dizziness and the inner ear, I haven't looked into it too much but I'm sure this is something that I am dealing with. Not to mention hypochondriasis.
This all from making a cup of coffee. Too much time to think. That's why I'm pounding away at this keyboard.
I think I would like a drink. A margarita or something with tequila to make me feel smooth and silly and sexy. I need a cute latino waiter smiling and watching as I fall into a giggly rabbit hole where everything is very curious.
But as I have learned, being here in the LA, I need to stay on my treatment. Nothing need interfere with my treatment. Unless I have a safe place and a guardian. Someone to watch over as I enjoy a safe drunken playground.
Will I ever not need a treatment plan?
3/28/07
in the trash
I think I would like a drink. A margarita or something with tequila to make me feel smooth and silly and sexy. I need a cute latino waiter smiling and watching as I fall into a giggly rabbit hole where everything is very curious.
But alkiholl tends to interfere with the treatment plan set up so lovingly by my doctor.
Name is J. Wells and I am a very important business man who makes good money, good benefits and has a stockpile of 401K and other such plans that make me indestructible. I walk confidently down major metropolitan streets paying little attention to passers by. I talk directly into my cellular phone with friends and colleagues about upcoming deals. My suit and shoes and hair are tailored and perfected. Hair appointments on a regular basis.
Oh! I can't even fake it. Who are these men that ride about town on their success and big dicks? What families did they come from, what were they doing when they were eleven? Big hands. So many men with these big hands and big feet and perfect hair and suits.
I am from a different stock, clearly. I see myself as sort of decoupage. ugh im sick of myself. stop. done.
memory flood
4/26/07
staying at heathers house after meltdown reading prozac nation watching barbra streisand 94 concert on vhs and i love lucy road trip to la feeling safe. fourth of july in hot hot apartment, geoffrey was out, kara and i watched jennifer lopez movie- out of sight, while puerto ricans shot off fireworks loud loud. hillarys apartment after not getting on flight to san diego, hillary was sick, i was not
time to put memories away for awhile
Well God Bless America. Shit. I can't believe the ridiculousness. Things fall apart. For sure things fall apart. I cant believe how
4/26/07
The Secret
In the spirit of "The Secret," here is my visualization for the future.
Come see me perform.
Welcome to my home. Understated. Subtle.
5/20/07
Untitled
yesterday i was sad because i was out to lunch and it was very sunny and i was looking out the window and there were so many people
5/22/07
regret
i am afraid to write this. keep deleting my thoughts. i am depressed. simple as that. simple as that. occasional moments of clarity, brilliance. on the whole, depressed. and i hurt the ones i love with this thing that i have and the way i handle it. push them away without even knowing it.
responsibility. a word that doesnt apply, falls off me like i am covered in teflon. sabotaging myself.
writing again in annoying oddly constructed sentences.
“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” Rollo May
5/22/07
Captain Depression
I have returned. Captain Depression! Able to dissapoint everyone I know, everywhere I go! Leaving parties, jobs, bars in seconds for no reason! Turning a normal social situation into an awkward disaster right before your very eyes.
Walking Pneumonia
I acquired this illness shortly before my graduation from college. Lots of coughing-hot-cold-chills-wanting-to-sleep-a-lot. I was given a prescription to Tussinex a pain reliever with Codeine for the coughing. While riding this beautiful train and enjoying the warm buzz I became seriously convinced that I would be forever addicted to opiates and die a heroin addict. Luckily I polished off the bottle and have been sober for ovr a week. I wont be making any heroin deals anytime soon. Knock on wood.
My recovery has been slow. I admit that I have continued smoking. I smoke. I smoke a lot. A lot. Always smoking. If you catch me somewehere, waiting for a bus, outside a resteraunt, in the shower- I will be smoking. Rumor has it that smoking is not advised while one tries to heal from pneumonia. I cant stop. Or dont want to stop. I dont want to stop.
I am afraid to stop smoking. I don't know what I will be like. I have terrible anxiety now- who knows what it will be like when I am trying not to smoke. I know that I could handle it though. Strange how chemical addictions work. A drug telling your body to tell your brain that you need it to survive. This is not true. I dont need to smoke to survive.
Anyway, I didnt want to go down this road. Talk of addiction and smoking.
Okay all of this has been depression soaked ranting. Full of gloom and doom signifying nothing. Garbage.
Depression Crisis Plan
During the times I have been hospitalized there were very peppy counselors who went on about a depression crisis plan. I have never done one. Why I am choosing to do this now on the internet is just me being hungry for attention. If this is what it takes for me to do it then this is what it takes for me to do it. Maybe you will learn something from it. I'll pretend I'm Oprah. A depressed smoking Oprah.
When I am feeling well, I am (describe yourself when you are feeling well):
active, busy, working or studying, eating relatively well, sleeping ok, in contact with friends and family
The following symptoms indicate that I am no longer able to make decisions for myself, that I am no longer able to be responsible for myself or to make appropriate decisions.
5/23/07
a failure of character
i have been suffering from depression for probably ten years. i am a survivor of this disease. i have hit bottom many times, had to pull myself back up with the help of hospitalizions, doctors, therapists, family and friends.
throughout all of this, there is a chorus, sometimes in my head, sometimes out of my head that tells me that i am lazy, that i am doing something wrong, that i am flawed, just not doing something right.
this blog stands as a testament to the fact that i am happy to admit my flaws. but i do not think that my flaws (smoking, laziness, too much big brother, etc) are the cause of my depression. and i think that when i think this way it is dangerous.
medicine can't fix everything. and the companies that produce the medication are evil like every other company in the world. but medication has saved me.
i am going through a very difficult time right now. having just graduated from school i dont know what to do with myself. i dont know if this triggered my current bout of depression-- i am working to get over this.
6/7/07
are you absolutley serious?
god bless you for continuing to read this piece of crap. please feel free to exit at any point.
When I was fourteen I started working at McDonalds at the suggestion of my mother. I am unclear about my thought process back then. Did I want to work there? Or was it that my mother told me to. And was that enough for me to do something back then. Anyway, I continued working there until I was 24. I had other jobs here and there but McDonalds was the bulk of it.
I remember looking out the drive thru window and thinking I don't have to do this anymore. I could work in an office, get paid more, and do less. So I started temping.
I worked for the gas company. I was a landscaping and paving clerk. Artificial Christmas tree salesman. Wallpaper librarian. Production Assitant for television shows.
Always uncomfortable and very stressful. But managable I think. Somehow I managed. And now because I have been out of work I am
6/13/07
a little bit of love goes a long long way
Never thought I'd be saying this but hooray for Enrique Iglesias. Serenading a gay fan. One of the cutest things I've seen in awhile people. Makes me a little sick, but its great.
6/18/07
10:24
It is important to have things to look forward to. I am looking forward to:
-going back to school one day
-writing a comic play
-seeing sandra bernhard again
Untitled
6/23/07
I am very excited about the new Big Brother. I hope it does not dissapoint.
Friday, June 30, 2006
deleted scenes
here are some blog posts that i never finished or never posted:
hair
6/26/06
i just looked in the mirror. who is this person with the long hair? who are you-- long haired freako boy? cut your hair and shape up! i want a shaved clean cut haircut. none of this sissy shit. tip top shape. i want a haircut that makes sense. it confuses me.
its such a neurotic thing i've started with this hair.
I'd like to know where you got the notion...
4/26/06
Yesterday, I downloaded a bunch of disco songs. During my trip on the bus to school down Lakeshore drive I listened to "Rock The Boat" by the Hues Corporation. The waves were really outstanding and the disco horns and strings and my caffeine high had me in a Studio54-cocaine-promiscuous-sex trance.
I never did cocaine, thank god. It would be the end of me. I am so addicted to cigarettes, I can't imagine what I would be like with "blow". A long long time ago I went to a party and was offered me some. Luckily, a friend told me that with my history of
a day in the life
2/15/06
My current routine. I get up at about 6 AM-ish when I have school. Smoke a cigarette in bed, dangerously half asleep. Put some coffee on. Usually turn NPR on but don't listen at all. Take my pills: Lexapro, Trileptal, Prilosec. Brush my teeth, put on some deodorant, get dressed. Set my microwave timer for when I have to leave the house. Sit down at my computer, smoke and drink coffee and an Ensure, surf the web.
This is my favorite time of the day.
The microwave timer goes off. I push it another ten minutes or so. Finally get up and put on my jacket - making sure that I have my cellphone.
I go out to the bus stop which is, thankfully, very close to my apt. I study the other people waiting. Decide who is hot and who is not, all while listening to my iPod on shuffle.
Get on the bus, saying hello to the busdriver- probably very loudly becuase I have my iPod on. Sit in my usual seat. I like this bus route because I can see the lake in the morning. As people get on, I am continuing my scan for my boyfriend. Deciding which one I am in love with and try to decide if he is in love with me.
I am drinking coffee out of a stainless steel travel mug so I start to get all hyped up on caffeine and the initial yet very temporary speedy effects of my antidepressants. I decide to text message people stupid things. These text messages are usually regretted by the end of the day.
voltron
2/15/06
today in documentary class we watched the first 30 minutes of "fahrenheit 911", "fahrenHYPE 911" and "outfoxed," which i thought i would hate- just because im so done with those documentaries- but that blank screen with just the audio in "fahrenheit 911" when the twin towers are hit always gets me. so effective as you sit there and your imagination paints the picture- incredible.
i went outside for two smokes on my break and this guy literally jumps me for a cigarette. "give me one of those camels!" for a minute i think about saying no, but he is essentially mugging me for a cigarette, so i pull one out.
"I shouldn't have done that, jumping up on you like that."
I am silent.
"I'm from New Orleans. Chicago is crazy. There's actually burros and shit. I thought New Orleans was big," as he lights the cigarette he mugged me for with the lighter I give him.
"You a student."
"Yes."
"Music?"
"Television."
"Television? So you go to school and when your done here what do you think your gonna do? Direct?"
"Writing"
"Well they sure need more writers. They're running out of ideas in Hollywood. Now I see they are doing 'Curious George'. I saw that and I said shit... Next they're gonna do 'Puff the Magic Dragon' or some shit."
"You are right."
"When they do a movie of Voltron, you know it's all over."
On my way back upstairs to watch more movies that I've already seen I decide that he has put into words basically about the same amount of information that I am paying $900,000 to hear.
That's not exactly true. My self esteem and general sanity is worth all the money that I am putting into this college song and dance. Being forced to get up, to read and to write, to be exposed occasionally to new things
water
1/28/06
just got a 24 pack of dasani from peapod. water. uh! interesting. not so bad.
watermelon. watersports. watershow. waterskis. waterfall.
when i had my first meltdown that involved illegal substances and a major freak out and post it notes posted all over my parents kitchen when i was in a blackout. i checked myself into a hospital. parents were called and my dad picked me up and took me
Chapter One
1/02/06
We are riding along in a car in front of a green screen.
there's only ONE STAR on the jeremy show
12/20/05
In preperation for spending a week with my parents I am trying to tell my DVR not to record every I Love Lucy and Brady Bunch and it has frozen up. Apparently it does not understand how I don't want to do that.
The Six Steps
2/15/05
As I'm sure I've said before in at least one of our many conversations I worked at McDonald's for ten years. They always say pass on your wisdom, pay it forward- so here's some valuable information I learned. Print it out and use it as a "cheat sheet" for your first day at work. I hope this will bring you the happiness and good fortune that it has to me.
The Six Steps for taking an order at McDonald's
1. Greet the Customer
"Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?"
"Hi, Can I help you?"
"What can I get you today?"
"Hey Wanda, glad to see you're back on your feet after the boating accident. You're usual today?"
Pretty easy. The key is to vary it. Don't say the same thing to each coustomer. They may begin to suspect that you are going through the emotions or even get the impression that you don't like your job that much. Oh! Don't forget to smile. And not a fake smile. I want a real toothy, tingly, just can't contain yourself smile. Good, this is the first step, the rest will be a cakewalk.
2. Take the order
Now this might sound easy. It's just punching in whatever the customer says, right? WRONG! Taking the order is all about active listening. You ever heard that, active listening? Active listening is really engaging yourself in the communication process with your customer. You should be giving eye contact while the customer speaks, letting the customer know that you care about what sandwich or value meal choices they are making.
**Really Important** Never, ever say "Will that be all?" or "Is that it?" when you feel like the customer is wrapping up. We don't want to close the door on the oppurtunity for the customer to make more selections. Instead, try "Do you feel like a Fruit N' Yogurt Parfait today?" or "Did you want to try our new Chicken Selects?"
Also, I've noticed that the one thing that new people like you forget is to ask "Is this for here or to go?" Don't forget to ask. Otherwise, at this point you're standing like a deer in headlights trying to remember what to do next. Don't be an idiot.
3. Assemble the order
Okay, so now we know if it's for here or to go so either grab the appropriate sized bag or put the sanitized tray with a trayliner on the counter.
The first thing you want to do is make the drinks. We can let the drink run while we're getting the rest of the items.
Next, we get the sandwich. If the sandwich isn't ready DON'T GET THE FRIES. Return to the counter and move to step 4.
4. Present the order
Presentation is the key to any good meal. Place all the items on the tray if the order is for here. The drink should not be touching the sandwich or the fries. Remember, hot stays hot, cool stays cool. If the order is to go, place the items in the bag correctly (don't mash it all together). The bag should be crisp and double folded and faced toward the customer with the golden arches faced out.
5. Receive Payment
Start with, "Okay, you're order today is [insert total] today." The customer will present you with a bill. Enter the money given on the cash register. Discreetly place half of the money given into your pocket and give the customer the change out of the drawer.
6. Than
hair
6/26/06
i just looked in the mirror. who is this person with the long hair? who are you-- long haired freako boy? cut your hair and shape up! i want a shaved clean cut haircut. none of this sissy shit. tip top shape. i want a haircut that makes sense. it confuses me.
its such a neurotic thing i've started with this hair.
I'd like to know where you got the notion...
4/26/06
Yesterday, I downloaded a bunch of disco songs. During my trip on the bus to school down Lakeshore drive I listened to "Rock The Boat" by the Hues Corporation. The waves were really outstanding and the disco horns and strings and my caffeine high had me in a Studio54-cocaine-promiscuous-sex trance.
I never did cocaine, thank god. It would be the end of me. I am so addicted to cigarettes, I can't imagine what I would be like with "blow". A long long time ago I went to a party and was offered me some. Luckily, a friend told me that with my history of
a day in the life
2/15/06
My current routine. I get up at about 6 AM-ish when I have school. Smoke a cigarette in bed, dangerously half asleep. Put some coffee on. Usually turn NPR on but don't listen at all. Take my pills: Lexapro, Trileptal, Prilosec. Brush my teeth, put on some deodorant, get dressed. Set my microwave timer for when I have to leave the house. Sit down at my computer, smoke and drink coffee and an Ensure, surf the web.
This is my favorite time of the day.
The microwave timer goes off. I push it another ten minutes or so. Finally get up and put on my jacket - making sure that I have my cellphone.
I go out to the bus stop which is, thankfully, very close to my apt. I study the other people waiting. Decide who is hot and who is not, all while listening to my iPod on shuffle.
Get on the bus, saying hello to the busdriver- probably very loudly becuase I have my iPod on. Sit in my usual seat. I like this bus route because I can see the lake in the morning. As people get on, I am continuing my scan for my boyfriend. Deciding which one I am in love with and try to decide if he is in love with me.
I am drinking coffee out of a stainless steel travel mug so I start to get all hyped up on caffeine and the initial yet very temporary speedy effects of my antidepressants. I decide to text message people stupid things. These text messages are usually regretted by the end of the day.
voltron
2/15/06
today in documentary class we watched the first 30 minutes of "fahrenheit 911", "fahrenHYPE 911" and "outfoxed," which i thought i would hate- just because im so done with those documentaries- but that blank screen with just the audio in "fahrenheit 911" when the twin towers are hit always gets me. so effective as you sit there and your imagination paints the picture- incredible.
i went outside for two smokes on my break and this guy literally jumps me for a cigarette. "give me one of those camels!" for a minute i think about saying no, but he is essentially mugging me for a cigarette, so i pull one out.
"I shouldn't have done that, jumping up on you like that."
I am silent.
"I'm from New Orleans. Chicago is crazy. There's actually burros and shit. I thought New Orleans was big," as he lights the cigarette he mugged me for with the lighter I give him.
"You a student."
"Yes."
"Music?"
"Television."
"Television? So you go to school and when your done here what do you think your gonna do? Direct?"
"Writing"
"Well they sure need more writers. They're running out of ideas in Hollywood. Now I see they are doing 'Curious George'. I saw that and I said shit... Next they're gonna do 'Puff the Magic Dragon' or some shit."
"You are right."
"When they do a movie of Voltron, you know it's all over."
On my way back upstairs to watch more movies that I've already seen I decide that he has put into words basically about the same amount of information that I am paying $900,000 to hear.
That's not exactly true. My self esteem and general sanity is worth all the money that I am putting into this college song and dance. Being forced to get up, to read and to write, to be exposed occasionally to new things
water
1/28/06
just got a 24 pack of dasani from peapod. water. uh! interesting. not so bad.
watermelon. watersports. watershow. waterskis. waterfall.
when i had my first meltdown that involved illegal substances and a major freak out and post it notes posted all over my parents kitchen when i was in a blackout. i checked myself into a hospital. parents were called and my dad picked me up and took me
Chapter One
1/02/06
We are riding along in a car in front of a green screen.
there's only ONE STAR on the jeremy show
12/20/05
In preperation for spending a week with my parents I am trying to tell my DVR not to record every I Love Lucy and Brady Bunch and it has frozen up. Apparently it does not understand how I don't want to do that.
The Six Steps
2/15/05
As I'm sure I've said before in at least one of our many conversations I worked at McDonald's for ten years. They always say pass on your wisdom, pay it forward- so here's some valuable information I learned. Print it out and use it as a "cheat sheet" for your first day at work. I hope this will bring you the happiness and good fortune that it has to me.
The Six Steps for taking an order at McDonald's
1. Greet the Customer
"Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?"
"Hi, Can I help you?"
"What can I get you today?"
"Hey Wanda, glad to see you're back on your feet after the boating accident. You're usual today?"
Pretty easy. The key is to vary it. Don't say the same thing to each coustomer. They may begin to suspect that you are going through the emotions or even get the impression that you don't like your job that much. Oh! Don't forget to smile. And not a fake smile. I want a real toothy, tingly, just can't contain yourself smile. Good, this is the first step, the rest will be a cakewalk.
2. Take the order
Now this might sound easy. It's just punching in whatever the customer says, right? WRONG! Taking the order is all about active listening. You ever heard that, active listening? Active listening is really engaging yourself in the communication process with your customer. You should be giving eye contact while the customer speaks, letting the customer know that you care about what sandwich or value meal choices they are making.
**Really Important** Never, ever say "Will that be all?" or "Is that it?" when you feel like the customer is wrapping up. We don't want to close the door on the oppurtunity for the customer to make more selections. Instead, try "Do you feel like a Fruit N' Yogurt Parfait today?" or "Did you want to try our new Chicken Selects?"
Also, I've noticed that the one thing that new people like you forget is to ask "Is this for here or to go?" Don't forget to ask. Otherwise, at this point you're standing like a deer in headlights trying to remember what to do next. Don't be an idiot.
3. Assemble the order
Okay, so now we know if it's for here or to go so either grab the appropriate sized bag or put the sanitized tray with a trayliner on the counter.
The first thing you want to do is make the drinks. We can let the drink run while we're getting the rest of the items.
Next, we get the sandwich. If the sandwich isn't ready DON'T GET THE FRIES. Return to the counter and move to step 4.
4. Present the order
Presentation is the key to any good meal. Place all the items on the tray if the order is for here. The drink should not be touching the sandwich or the fries. Remember, hot stays hot, cool stays cool. If the order is to go, place the items in the bag correctly (don't mash it all together). The bag should be crisp and double folded and faced toward the customer with the golden arches faced out.
5. Receive Payment
Start with, "Okay, you're order today is [insert total] today." The customer will present you with a bill. Enter the money given on the cash register. Discreetly place half of the money given into your pocket and give the customer the change out of the drawer.
6. Than
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
sentences from my journals
I've spent my life swimming with sleeping pills inside a glass of champagne on Marilyn Monroe's nightstand.
We can't go in there because she's in a bad mood.
It wasn't easy establishing myself as Cincinnati's most powerful shoe salesman.
About two and half Madonna singles have gone by since we last spoke.
I'm a little bit Star Jones and a little bit Kurt Cobain.
I never say things like, "That is TOO funny!"
If my medication didn't prevent me from experiencing emotions, I would cry right now.
Today is the fourteenth because yesterday was the thirteenth, I remember because I wrote the date on a bad check yesterday.
As with any of my work, my intentions are not simply to entertain, but to change the world and feed the hungry.
Columbine! The Musical was never a good idea, no matter how much I thought, through the magic of music and satire, it might open people's eyes to the need for gun control in America.
The McDonald's Christmas party sucked.
We can't go in there because she's in a bad mood.
It wasn't easy establishing myself as Cincinnati's most powerful shoe salesman.
About two and half Madonna singles have gone by since we last spoke.
I'm a little bit Star Jones and a little bit Kurt Cobain.
I never say things like, "That is TOO funny!"
If my medication didn't prevent me from experiencing emotions, I would cry right now.
Today is the fourteenth because yesterday was the thirteenth, I remember because I wrote the date on a bad check yesterday.
As with any of my work, my intentions are not simply to entertain, but to change the world and feed the hungry.
Columbine! The Musical was never a good idea, no matter how much I thought, through the magic of music and satire, it might open people's eyes to the need for gun control in America.
The McDonald's Christmas party sucked.
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