I couldnt remember what we were supposed to write about for class so I thought Id write about my day.
I went to see my therapist today after a three month break. Really felt emotionally raw. We started talking about stuff and something hit a nerve and I wanted to cry. I guess its been awhile since I have talked about my feelings. Ive sort of been numb.
After meeting with my therapist, I felt a mixture of relief and sadness. I walked back to my house through the rain, wanting to talk to someone. I called my mother and some friends but everyone went to voicemail. I came home and fell asleep for five hours.
This always happens in the Fall and its nothing new for me. Its such a shock to see the seasons change so dramatically, so fast. Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder, probably.
I tried to think of something happy today and everything seemed annoying to me.
A book cover? Like the cover of really good quality paperbacks that can take you to another world. Photography in general. Pictures of Madonna. These things make me happy.
And there is always How Stella Got Her Groove Back. What is it about that movie for me? I speak in all serious when I say that my seratonin level increases significantly when that movie is on. Maybe it's the combination of the soul music and the tropical locale that really relaxes me. And Taye Diggs.
I want to be Angela Bassett in Jamaica right now. I want Whoppi Goldberg to be my friend who has some mysterious movie illness that brings us together just before its too late. Then I get married to Taye Diggs and quit my job as a stockbroker to design wood furniture out of my garage.
Just writing about that makes me happy.
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