Monday, July 26, 2004

Overkill



its the summer of low carb coca cola and the high heeled sandal. today i walked to jewel to pay for a check that bounced and buy groceries with my rent money. i noticed my protruding belly in the window of a dollar store. sometimes im disgusted by myself, sometimes i dont care. what is the healthiest thought to act upon? should i exercise because i find my body repulsive? or should i wait to resolve "my issues"? According to our Oprah Culture, my weight is not about the food, or the weight itself-- its about some ambiguous thing that I haven't spent enough time working on-- something I've overlooked in my therapy and self-help regimine. this makes me feel like ive forgotten to do my life homework and makes me want to eat and not exercise even more. and i don't even consider myself overweight. extremley unhealthy, but not overweight.

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