Tuesday, April 10, 2007

lifes candy and the suns a ball of butter

i have been reading (listening to) christopher anderson's "The Way She Is," a biography of barbra streisand. the book is a little much, and i love it. the basic theme is that barbra was and is very demanding. anderson's book is basically a list of every demand streisand has ever made in her life. flowers, makeup, camera angles...

well how the hell else are you supposed to get anything done in this world? how else are you supposed to "get a leg up," as my good friend ms. buller asks? jesus christ!

like streisand, i have learned the hard way- no one is going to do it for you. you have to make the calls, you have to set up the appointments, you have to take out enormous student loans, you have to do your laundry and you have to buy your own diet pepsi. and its exhausting. how dare anyone question anyone elses choices. how dare they!

like streisand, when i am on oprah, i too will demand a microphone the same color of whatever donna karan pantsuit i am wearing. i want the audience to look at me, not the microphone. these are things you just have to learn from being in the business!
no one is going to tell you that.

rarely is anyone going to help you out in this business of show. its a rough dirty business where egos collide like bumper cars at a carnival. if you want cotton candy, you have to get out of your bumper car and get it yourself! no one is going to get it for you. if you want to tickets for another ride you better get a job and buy them yourself. don't waste your time looking on the sawdust ground for dropped tickets, you'll spend your whole life doing that and by the time you find them the carnival will be closed. it doesn't matter how many tickets you find you'll never be able to ride the rides if there is no carnival. did you ever think about that?

all i'm saying is no one is going to appreciate what you do, ever. no matter how hard you try there will always be a pack of gum smacking naysayers commenting on the choices you've made in your life.

the trick is to ignore them. ignore everyone. put on your orange dress and fur hat and get on that boat.

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