keep off my back

you kids are gonna drive me to drink. at some point i have to hold up my hands and say "i give up." give me a break. give mama a break. i have a blister on my foot from walking around town today and i ain't in a good mood, so you best watch it.

The Jeremy Show Interviews: The Lady Taja Mahal

I bumped into The Lady Taja Mahal online and asked her if she'd grant me an interview. The Lady holds court on Wednesday night in Boystown, Chicago at Hydrate.


Do you remember the first time you wore a dress?
The first time I wore a dress was after church one Easter morning. My parents were shocked to see me come out of their room in my moms new Easter dress and hat dragging the floor.

Do you live most of your life as a woman or a man?
I live all of my life as a woman. Its kind of hard to be a man with 40DD tits.

What do you like about being a man?
I can not answer this question since I do not consider myself a man.


What do you like about being a woman?
I love being able to wear makeup if I want to or just going natural. Dressing up or dressing down. Playing with my tits.


You mention that you are a very religious person. Was
there ever a time when you struggled with your faith
because of your sexuality/lifestyle?
I have never struggled because my mother has always been supportive. She taught me from a very early age that God loved everyone just the way they are. I am blessed to have a mother who lives by John 3:16 and reminds me of it everyday.


The first song you ever performed was
"Where Do Broken Hearts Go" by Whitney Houston. Is
Whitney one of your idols? Who are some of your other
idols or favorite performers and why are they your
favorites?
I have always and will always love Whitney. She has struggled with many complications in her life but no one can deny the talent she has. I also idolize such greats like Patti LaBelle, Aretha Franklin, Jennifer Holiday and Gladys Knight.


If you could have a dream date with any celebrity who
would it be with and where would you go?
Hmmmmmmmmm....there are a few but if I had to pick just one it would be Cameron Mathison from All My Children and we would go straight to my bedroom.

Do you have rituals that you do before a show?
My rituals include taking a nice nap before makeup application so that my face is relaxed.


You travel a lot around the midwest. What is the worst
experience you've had while "on the road?"
I was on the way to Iowa one night and my friend was driving and speeding because we were late. We got pulled over and the cop had a million questions.
I was napping before he pulled us and wearing a cut up t-shirt with no bra. I did not realize that as I lay, my right tit has come out of my t-shirt and that is why he had so many questions...he was just getting a free peep show.


What do you have in your purse/bag? Please list all
the contents if you can.
Inside of my Louis Vuitton purse you will find my Louis Vuitton wallet, change purse, check book, business car holder, chapstick, palm pilot, Lane Bryant coupons, Chanel sunglasses, Advil and Altoids.

You said that it is your dream to be Miss Continental
Plus? What is Miss Continental Plus? Why is this your
dream? If you do achieve this dream, what is your next goal?
Miss Continental Plus is a national pageant for professional female impersonation entertainers. It is my dream because it is like winning an Emmy or Oscar in my line of work. Once I achieve that goal I seek to find work on televison and the big screen.

Please complete these sentences...

God is good all the time.

Sex is a foreign word to me.

I get angry when guys lead me on.

People are interesting.

I am thinking about trying out for an amateur drag
show. You mention that there are do's and dont's of
female impersonation? What are they?
There are far too many do's and dont's to name without taking up an entire page.
I will remind you that makeup is the key. Just remember cover girl does not cover boy.


Where can we see you perform?
You can find me every Wednesday night at Hydrate...3458 N Halsted www.hydratechicago.com

Visit www.theladytajmahall.com to learn more.

and that's all I have to say

Honey, the culture is changing and there ain't nothing you can do to stop it. Quit holding on to old shit, old ways of doing things. Adapt to new ways, be open minded and quit holding back cause your scared of looking like an idiot. You're going to look like an idiot to begin with.

Do it now. Otherwise you'll get left behind like the weirdo people that don't know how to use the internet.

kaballahesque

i just meditated. imagining light coming from the bottom of my spine through the top of my head and out into the infinite universe.

now im smoking a cigarette. saying a little prayer for all of those i love and those i am routinely annoyed by. i forgive them and i forgive myself. spreading love around my body like heavenly moisturizer. and spraying the world with liquid peace from a divine supersoaker.

do i like to make fun of myself?
yes.
do i like to make fun of others?
yes.
is that good?
no.
why do i do it?
because i am not healed, i am broken bicycle. just like those i make fun of.
try to cut down others to make myself feel better about myself.
its been going on, by me and by everyone, for quite awhile.

i summon the spirits of tammy faye, marcia clark, rosie o'donnell, leo tolstoy, truman capote and on and on.

dos it make sense?
no.
can i handle that?
yes.

Kara Does Asia

My good friend Kara has invaded Southeast Asia. Feel free to comment or ask her any questions about wherever the hell she is.

Here are her notes from the other side of the world.