FutureSexLoveShow

Feeling emotionally fragile like a china doll. A broken dusty figurine of a man on the shelf. Boring myself with my analogies. Trying to describe a very New England pain. I'm in a yellow wallpapered bell jar. A story told a thousand times, mostly by privileged white women. Where is the book about me? I'm certainly in no condition to write it.

Watching Justin Timberlake on DVD. The FutureSexLoveShow, I believe it's called. What talent and optimism and soul. Gives me goosebumps. In slacks and white shirt and vest. Grabbing his twentysomething package, the crowd screams. There is such hope in that crotch. Such potential.

Eating Ritz crackers with feta cheese and ham for dinner now. Disgusting. Stomach issues now. Feeling hopeless.

These men on the train home from work. Different versions of Justin at different ages. In their ironed slacks. I can't help but fixate. Every day a new one. They are undoubtedly disturbed by the pained look I must give them. Wrinkling my brow, trying to understand how they got wherever they are. I want to be them. Do they ever want to be me? Certainly they are not interested in the hairstyle. This is an ongoing problem. Who do they want to be? They want money probably and sex. They want to feel safe or make others feel safe. They are hungry.

After the work day is done, I just want to sleep. I refuse the offers coming from no one- going out for a drink after work. "No, Thank You." Just sleep. And when I say sleep I mean go home and hide. And by that I mean watch a Justin Timberlake concert DVD ordered from Netflix.

Ladies I'm Lovin: Sheila Kennedy

She's from Dallas but moved to New York in 1980 to live with Bob Guccione. Former Penthouse Pet. Ex-Girlfriend of Scott Baio. And my favorite Big Brother contestant to date.

She is that voice in our heads who is just exasperated and convinced that something is up. She's got her wine. She is 45 and she'll let everyone know that she is 45. She's a lot older than everyone else, she's seen a lot of things in her life so... just know that. Know that.


I would have died! Died! DIED! Thank yew. Thank yew!



Sheila asking for her Tylenol PM.





***Thanks for all the response to the "Ladies I'm Lovin" series.

my songs are my children

that's hot

i had a really beautiful thing to write about but somehow i got caught up in superhero porn. im back now, what was i going to write about? something about san francisco i think. well it's gone now.

my mom asked me what i thought of this paris hilton thing. i told her i havent watched television in about a week (the view with no rosie, and there is a gap between regular programming and fun crappy summer programming ie. big brother, my life on the d-list,etc). she was confused.

i am just not interested in paris hilton at all. as much as i go on about loving pop culture, i can't understand the appeal of her. i did watch "the simple life" a few times -- very strange overly scripted reality show. i found nicole ritchie funny and hilton was okay on the show. but i can't write about her because i have no emotion at all. i did like saying "that's hot" for awhile. my mom went on to read a very long article about hilton to me, i zoned out. i am very thankful that i have a mother that reads articles about paris hilton to me.

if you are not reading boingboing you should be.

i want to read this book.



it's funny when you are at a party and somehow you get into talking about old television shows. it takes about thirty minutes to get out of it before everyone has exhausted talking about "gummi bears" and "jem" and "silver spoons" and "small wonder." such an impact these shows had on us.

ok, let's talk about "i don't watch television." a phrase that causes me concern in social settings. some of us smarties, some of us npr listeners and organic food purchasers like to throw around this phrase at cocktail parties. i have never said it because i think it's very clear that i do watch television. but lets get into it. what does "i don't watch television" mean?

1. do you own a television?
you probably say yes, but i never watch it. if you own a television, chances are you watch it. even if you own a television and don't watch prime time television- you watch television.
2. do you watch quality television on dvd.
do you watch "quality shows" like "the sopranos," or "weeds."
so, you're not watching survivor. but you are still watching shows specifically marketed to your demographic. these shows don't just appear out of nowhere, they are crafted and chosen by men in suits to target you and get your money. unless you are stealing them, you are falling into the same trap as someone watching "big brother."
3. do you watch retro shows like "mary tyler moore," "the golden girls" or "twin peaks" on television?
again, these shows don't fall from the sky. mary tyler moore didn't cook them up in her home. they are even more commercially marketed by the man to you.
4. do you watch the movies on dvd?
you are watching them on your television.
5. do you watch the news?
you are watching the television, sorry amigo.
6. do you watch the televisions at the checkout stands of your grocery store or in elevators, etc.
you watch television

With that out of the way. What does it mean to say "I dont watch television." What are we trying to say, prove, or communicate when we spit these words onto someone who innocently asks us if we watched "american idol" last night? the only translation of "i dont watch television" i understand is "i think i am smarter than you. i make better choices. the things i like are intelligent, homegrown, pure, simple, and perfect. but most importantly i am better than you."

and thats okay. i am all about putting people down in public as long as we know what jackasses we are ourselves.

KARA

I watched American Idol tonight and although I did enjoy seeing Bette Midler and Blake is so cute he needs a spanking I will say the best thing I watched tonight was "The Kara Buller Show." Here it is in its entirety.

ans thoughts

I've been having a bit of writer's block. My mind has been in a holding pattern for quite some time now. In the words of the late great Anna Nicole when asked about her views on politics- "I know nothing about nothing." This is how I feel lately.

Thinking about Anna Nicole- I do agree that she was an odd character. As my mom said quoting my sister, "All the crayons are in the box but none of them are sharpened." (My mom also said that she saw a nice picture of ANS today without any of the "Marilyn Monroe curls" and that she thinks that the whole thing is sad.)

I don't agree that her crayons weren't sharpened. She seemed to get out of bed in the morning and wore clean clothes and brushed her teeth, which is more than I can say for myself most days. What was I trying to say before I started in on the self deprication? I was thinking back on the early days of her reality show and I remember sitting on a futon laughing my ass off. I don't think it was always at her. She seemed like she was in on the joke mostly. It was the people around her, Bobby Trendy, Howard K. Stern, Kim, etc that seemed the most depressing and fucked up.

I do think it's strange that wherever Howard K. Stern goes there seems to be someone dying of a drug overdose. Someone please take him away from that baby.

My gentleman companion was not as shaken up about her death as I was, however he did correctly assume that I might be depressed and braced me for the news which I appreciate. I guess I thought of her as an institution, someone who was permanent.

I'm not going to get all "Candle In The Wind" on your ass. I'm just talking it out.

Jeremy: The Comeback Post

Good Morning dear readers. I wish I was Ann Landers or Dear Abby typing away at a crusty old typewriter. I want to answer all the questions give all the advice. Cut the bullshit and talk turkey. What's going on! Let's figure it out.

I'll tell you what's going on with me. I'm in the throws of a slump. Every week can't be a winning week and this sure hasn't been my month. The finances are ridiculous. Can't get a pack of cigarettes without doing a song and dance, and the pack is gone before I'm done dancing. Clowns to the left jokers to the right, you understand? I dont.

It seems every night, instead of enjoying a blissful slumber I'm laying in bed imagining what my future will be. What's in store for this two bit lazy faggot with a pot belly and bad feet? It can't be good. Ultimately, no matter which way you shake it, "The Jeremy Show" ends in death. Maybe not tragedy, but death.

And what will I have left to the world? "There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world: Children and art." The former is highly doubtful and I can guarantee it wouldn't be a pretty picture and the latter has thus far proven to be mediocre. If not mediocre, then less than lucrative.

But let's turn that frown upside down. Let's talk about hot boys. Who's hot! Let's talk about who's hot.


Will Kirby, Big Brother: All Stars
A doctor! A doctor! I can't believe I'm marrying a doctor! Dr. Will teach me how to wash my face!!! He sells facebrushes on infomercials and is the star of Big Brother. Can't get enough of him. I want to get a sexy lecture from him about my terrible skin care. I don't wash my face. Unless you call running the shower water over your head pretending to be in the Madonna "Rain" video washing your face. I prefer a smoked out, ashen look.


Morgan Spurlock, 30 Days
I'm a sucker for a handlebar mustaches and futile attempts to save the world from the inevitable social, environmental and political apocalypse we see before us. Break it down for me Morgan. Let's try save the world, and let's try to save the world on FX. Fox light! Just because theres no O doesn't mean you aren't getting paid by Rupert Murdoch. But I don't care who you're getting paid by as long as you love me.

Leonardo Dicaprio and Toby Maguire at the beach

That's what I'm talking about. I like a little meat on the bones. One time I made out with this wiry, rickety, skinny boy in Wicker Park and it was like making out with a starved greyhound dog. Give me a nice overweight guy in a bad swimsuit. Life is too short not to be overweight! I mean, I guess I mean just eat. Have a great summer go to the beach, let it all hang out. Wear your Teva sandals. Get sand in your asscrack. I can't go with you right now because I have no money for the bus, but you go. You live it up, I'm telling you-- you aren't getting any younger.You just aren't. Enjoy your flabby, well fed, sexy bodies while you can. No one is going to want to go to the beach with you when you are old and dusty and you are pooping your scented adult diapers.

I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. Blecch. I've been up all night trying to pretend like things are going to be okay. And they aren't. Life is impossible. It will always be impossible and nonsensical and mostly shitty. The more you try to plan the more it's just going to be a mess. And if you are able to hold it all down and organize it- you've turn into a rigid neurotic mess that no one wants to be around anyway. Do what you want to do and do it until it makes other people hate you. Then you'll find out who your real friends are. Buy shit you don't need. I have so many candy coated nuggets of wisdom for you this morning-- I should take calls. I should "open up the phone lines." I have poured myself 2 cups of French Roast grandiosity. Good to the last drop.

do you think it's clean?

i can't think anymore about star jones and rosie o'donnell or my head will explode. today i watched a lot of tv. intervention-- some chick taking heroin and crack, goes to rehab and then starts doing drugs again. that's what i hate about that show. roseanne 8 hour marathon. will and grace friends david letterman. the list goes on.

wbbm newsradio 78 on very low in the background. bought huge bag of skittles and some diet coke. have to write a paper on someone i know very well, using three different personality theories to describe them. going to do it on myself. seems dangerous to do it on anyone else-- who am i to dissect someones personality (on paper)?

the problem today is that i didnt drink any coffee. ha, as if that's the only problem.

and yes, since you asked, i think i would like to go in an isolation tank. i am curious but would never do it. too claustrophobic and crazy.

taking vitamins but still don't look like the guy on the box. false advertising.

way to many skittles (and cigarettes). stomach hurts.

crystal lake

I have spent a week in Crystal Lake.

Yesterday I went to Best Buy for the second time and tried to figure out something to buy to amuse myslef with while I'm here. Like a DVD box set or something. I almost purchased the new "9 to 5" DVD. It had outtakes and audio commentary by the ladies. Then I realized that I would just watch it once and it would sit with all my other DVDs-- never watched. Except for Absoultley Fabulous. I can watch those over and over.

This was the second time I had gone to Best Buy and there is this girl who came up each time and really got in my face asking if I needed any help and assuring me that if I decided I did need help that she would be there. Here name was Heidi, she had braces and I wanted to strangle her.

I saw Kathy Griffin on Wednesday at the old movie theater which is now a perfoming arts center. It is the same movie theater that I saw "Beaches" and "Batman" and "Jaws 4" at. Kathy Griffin was hilarious-- could have listened to her forever.

miracle

Today I worry about Siegfried and Roy. Has Siegfried had to find a new lover, since Roy was attacked by that tiger? Or maybe they stopped being intimate years ago. Perhaps their bond was only made more strong by the accident. I just imagine the fights in German behind closed doors. Are there money problems? That's never good for a relationship. I wish them the best.

Growing up during WWII Germany must have been so hard. Putting on magic shows for their distant fathers. Their fathers knowing that something wasn't normal. Then finding each other and building an incredible life together, only to be brought down by the very claws and teeth that they so lovingly cared for.

According to Maria Shriver's documentary "Siegfried and Roy: Miracle," the two are getting by. Or is it just another beautiful show? These are the questions I ask while I have my morning coffee.

vomit

In Crystal Lake for Easter weekend. I spotted American Idol top twenty contestant David Radford (from Crystal Lake Central) in a minivan at the bank. My mom and I were driving home from Chili's and I told her to slow down so I could see if it was really him (he was driving behind us). I kept checking and checking, it was him, it was him.

Everytime I looked I wanted to throw up, I think because he just stared back at me. But so fascinating to me.

I love celebrities. I really do. Can't get enough. Oprah says that worshipping celebrities is dangerous because it takes you off your path to becoming your authentic self. Of course, she says this on television speaking to millions of viewers from her white leather couch.

Happy Easter.

Sandra answers my question!

I answered a call for fans of Sandra Bernhard to ask her questions. She answered mine!


Go to Broadway.com for the rest of the story.

a scary mouth

This is the paper I wrote for my Gay and Lesbian studies on Sandra Bernhard.

million little things

Part 1

Martha and Isaac

I don't want to jinx it. I said I liked The Apprentice a lot two years ago and now I hate it. I will go out on a limb and say that I officially enjoy and recommend Martha's new daytime show. I'll tell you why:

1. It's live. So, it's very edge-of-your-seat. She is not a natural talk show host. It's like watching your mom trying to host a talk show. When she's not reading from a prompter, she is candid about what she thinks. When the NYC transit strike was going on, she was very angry about it. She admitted recently to Fran Drescher that she is dating. Today, she made some mild scolding remarks about author James Frey's controversy. You don't hear this stuff from Ellen and Oprah. I haven't been watching a lot of Ellen because it's become so formulaic. (Ka!-backatcha-dance-take a jacket was fun for awhile but how long can you convince yourself that you are enjoying it?) Oprah is too busy trying to save the world. But I still try to get tickets to see her. I'm hot or cold with Oprah. Anyway, got off track. Another reason I like MARTHA is...

2. The guests are doing something. And what did we all learn in improv comedy classes? Talking is better when you are doing something. Martha admitted she was dating a person that could take care of her financially while she was frosting a cake. It's simply more fun to sit on your fat ass and watch someone do something rather than sit on their fat ass and do nothing. Stitch that on a pillow.

3. I believe that Martha is very passionate about what she is doing. Other talk show hosts eyes are glazed over as their guests talk about their tv show or movie. Martha's do too, but in the next segment she's busy decorating a cake, it's her show, and the guest is just along for the ride.


Isaac Mizrahi's new show on Style also great. Not as good Martha's. What I love about Isaac's show is that in the intro to each segment there is a little documentary-ish short of him, that harks back to his documentary "Unzipped" which I loved. What I don't like is that I think the Style network thinks they can just start rerunning the episodes and it won't piss me off. Because it will piss me off. I love "sketches and answers"-- I like a good solid yes or no when it comes to fashion. "Clap for that!" and realizing that it's all about suit jackets has changed my life.

part 2

Well ExcuuuUUUUUSSSe Me!

Pardon me. Pardon Me, Non-Smokers. I didn't realize that me smoking was such a STINKIN BIG DEAL that you had to get the government involved. What a bunch of whiny babyish tattle tales. Running to tell the teacher "Jeremy's smoking and I don't like it. It makes me cough and I'm afraid I might get cancer." *Fake cough, fake cough, fake cough*.

15 feet away from the building. KISS MY ASS. That's right, KISS. MY. ASS.-- Getting all up in my business.

As far as I'm concerned, you can stay 15 feet the hell away from me. You non-smokers are asking for it. You are really cruisin' for a bruisin'. Let's take this outside! Oh, I forgot, I ALREADY AM OUTSIDE, smoking a very enjoyable Camel Light.

I swear with my right hand on any of Oprah's book club selections that this will come back to haunt you and your little stick up the ass asses. It's not about the smoke. It's about making a choice for somebody else and it's going to get you too. We're being walked like cattle to the slaughterhouse down a slippery smokeless slope. Cell phones, cigarettes, what's next hmmm? What else is annoying them?

"IT'S NOT THE SAME ARGUMENT," you say. Bup-bup-bup, don't speak, DON'T SPEAK, I say. If your not one of them, they will come for you too. You'll be standing outside with us too. And I will be blowing smoke right into your unwrinkled, healthy face.

hahahahahahahaHAHAHHAH A HOOOOOHOOOOHEHEEEEEHHHAAAAAA
HHOOOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHaaaaaHAHAHA

I will now take off my tinfoil hat and try to hold onto some shred of sanity.

clap for that

dreamed i was friends with issac mizrahi. we met at a department store so he could buy me his cologne. i dont think he even has a cologne. i sensed that he was getting annoyed with me or wasn't totally cool with me.

then we started talking about the fact that he was in the beatles. i told him my mom's favorite beatle was paul.

we discussed the theme song to "the golden girls" and he claimed it was originally a song from an old musical. i tried to tell him that i was pretty sure it was written for the show.

then kara called and i woke up.

quick review

sarah silverman- "jesus is magic"

saw it with kara. went to get popcorn and 2 cokes before the show started. the lady asked if i wanted to get a larger popcorn and just one big coke, and then we could get free refills.

i didnt give a shit about free refills but i just wanted to shut her up so i said yes. then i realized that we were going to get just one big coke. not that i have a problem sharing a coke with kara. but what if i was getting sick or have herpes or something? maybe kara didnt want to share a gigantic coke with me. so i asked if i could have another cup, so i could split the coke. well, i knew that would be a problem before i said it. she handed me a dixie cup. i didn't feel like creating a scene so i just bought another fucking coke.

the movie was dumb. i think sarah silverman is hilarious normally. but an hour and a half of supposedly shockingly genius racist jokes got old real quick. i like the poster and the title though.

commerative speech

Welcome to the grand opening of Cherchez La Femme Women's Bookstore and Coffee Shop. I was honored when Connie, the manager asked me to speak today. Unfortunately, Connie can't be here today because she is having ingrown toenail surgery. She sends her love and get wait to get back to work.

These Women.

Alanis Morisette
Barb
Barbara Mandrell
Bette Davis
Bette Midler
Britney Spears
Cher
Dawn
Dolly Parton


Ellen Degeneres
Eva Peron
Gilda Radner
Gloria Estefan
Heather
Hillary

Janet Jackson
Jennifer Saunders
Joan Crawford
Joan Rivers
Joanna Lumley

Kara
Kylie Minogue
Lisa Kudrow
Lucille Ball
Madonna
Margaret Cho

Martha Stewart
Melika
Molly Shannon

My female teachers
My Grandmothers
My Mother
My sister
Nicole

Olivia Newton-John
Oprah
Pat
Renee
Roseanne
Rosie
Sandra Bernhard
Tammy Faye

Terri Gross
Tina Turner and
Whitney Houston



These women. These women live in my life. These women live in my apartment. These women live on my dusty shelves.

In my book collection, in my cd and dvd collections. These women live on my television.

These women live in my Ipod. These women live in my computer. These women live in my classrooms.

For a guy. For a guy that doesn't like himself sometimes. For a guy that goes from self induced crisis to self induced crisis. For a guy that smokes too much and sleeps too much and feels too much, too often like he is a smudge on a window. These women, these women tell him, he's ok. Even when he's not.

When I am poisoned, each woman is an antidote. When I am filled with viruses and my internal hard drive fails to work, these women perform a system restore. When the drugs fail to work, the prozac, the caffeine, the nicotine, the xanax --- these women perform some sort of miracle and get me out of bed, maybe even into the shower, maybe even to school or work.

They paint a picture of this guy. They paint a picture of this guy without even knowing it. They paint a picture of this guy creating. They paint a picture of this guy being semi responsible. They paint a picture of this guy using all of his retarted masculine pain and pathos and anger to do something other than sleeping.

No man can do this. No man has the magic, or the glitter, or the potion that can make this happen. The penis is amusing, but it does not have magical powers. and I have tested this.

It is only the women. Women are born in the sea and they walk up from the ocean floor through the waves and on to the shore. Women keep the Sears Tower up. Women send the space shuttle into orbit.

Do you get it? I'm not sure I do. All I know is that women have immense power.

Each woman I see everyday on the bus. The bus driver with crazy long fingernails, the nanny taking care of children, the Lincoln park trixie reading whatever the number one bestseller is, the woman talking to herself, the girl with blue hair on her way to an art school. They are the deitys. They are goddesses.

Perhaps it is because they give life. They nurture, they tend to the global garden. I do not know the reason. I do not know the reason but I am aware of their power. Somewhere along the line I became aware of their power. And it is their power that keeps me going. Some may worship in the church of Bjork. Some may pray to the Golden Girls. I attend services at the Holy Church of Bette Midler and Madonna.

I hope this hasn't come to you too fast, but I don't think it's too late to remember and celebrate the power of women in your lives.

notes and thoughts on tonya harding website "thank you" video

A bright cheery spot in a park in 1999.
"Let's do it here." "Perfect."
Bright, confident, clear and thankful.
Thankful for the support. Thankful for the interest.

I'm playing it over and over. Obsessed with it.
She's turned away at first, looking at children playing.
Then BANG! All smiles and confidence.

A nanny and two children walking in the background as we zoom in, not knowing that Tonya Harding is taping a thank you video for her website. Probably not knowing who Tonya Harding is. Not knowing that it's with an "o" and not an "a".

In 1999- any kind of video on a website must have been a mindfuck. I mean that's pre 9-11. Who knows what went on on before 9-11, I don't remember a thing myself.

But we're clear that it's an official document from the titles on the screen. Copyrighted and All Rights Reserved. This is serious business.

Excited. She's excited about the launch of her website. She's picked out a great outfit. Casual but versatile. Hand in pocket. Friendly as all get out.

Turned over a new leaf. The leaves on the trees were probably not an intentional visual metaphor but they really work. Sometimes things just come together like that.

"Without your support, I probably would not be here today." Unclear if she means "would not be here," like not doing a video for her website, getting on with things -or- if she means "would not be here" like suicide. No, she can't mean that. That's a dark thing to bring up on a thank you video for a website. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe a little bit of both? An ambiguous comment.

One last time, see if I notice anything else. Just a nod at the end after, "Bye now." A nod to herself. An "I'm finished, I said what I needed to say" nod.

you're f**cking kidding me!

This is SERIOUSLY my dream come true! A six disc collection of Oprah shows. I think I need to lay down and take a nap. I HAVE A REASON TO LIVE!!!!!!

The hairstyles, the outfits, the theme songs- There is a god!

It releases on November 15. Knock me out until then.

Live your best life,
Jeremy

The Jeremy Show Interviews: Brini Maxwell

One evening I was channel surfing and literally fell off my chair when I discovered The Brini Maxwell Show on the Style network. My life will never be the same. I made it my mission to have Brini here on The Jeremy Show. My humble prayer has been answered. Ladies and Gentlemen, Brini Maxwell.

Hello Brini! The Brini Maxwell Show: The First Season has
just been released. Congratulations! For those poor
souls that have never seen it, how would you describe
The Brini Maxwell Show?
The Brini Maxwell Show is a lifestyle service show with tips, recipes, interior design ideas and interviews with people that are passionate about things.

When Brini was a little girl what did she want to be
when she grew up?
I wanted to be just what I am. A domestic engineer with ties to the past.

What's the best cocktail for a late summer dinner
party? Could we bother you for the recipe?
The Summer Breeze - It's in my book (Brini Maxwell's Guide to Gracious Living) which will be released in October by Stewart Tabori and Chang.


Summer Breeze

1 1/2 ounces Bacardi Limon
1 ounce pink grapefruit juice
1 ounce orange juice
Dash of grenadine

Shake all ingredients in a shaker filled with ice. Strain into a martini glass, drop a cherry in, and enjoy!

Serves 1

What is your morning routine?
I get up at around 7:30, brush my teeth, shower and put on my makeup. Then I make breakfast (usually sausage and pancakes or something similar) and then get dressed and go about my day.

I'm a smoker, and I'm trying to quit. Or I plan to try
to quit. Or I'm thinking about planning to try to
quit. Anyway, what's your worst habit? What do you do
to try to stop it?
My worst habit is probably shopping. I buy far too much clothing, and home accessories then one girl needs. It's very theraputic though.

What does the ring on your cellphone sound like?
It sounds like an old dial phone.

What is in your purse? If you could list all the
contents for our viewers that would be fantastic.
My purse contains my wallet (of course) a lipstick and lip brush, miniture powder compact, comb, hairspray, small package of tissues, handbag caddy (to hang your handbag from the dining table), rain bonnet and a few starlight mints.


If you were going to make me a mix cd, name some songs
you would put on it.
The McMillan and Wife Theme - The John Gregory Orchestra
Alfie - Matt Monro
Barbarella Theme - Ferrante and Teicher
Wave - Oscar Peterson
The Days of Wine and Roses - Nancy Wilson
Something for Cat - Henry Mancini


Have you ever received a speeding ticket? Was the
policeman handsome?
I haven't, actually. I drive very carefully. I wouldn't want to dent the fender of my '66 Thunderbird convertable.

What is your motto?
I don't know that I have one. I like to live my life with an air of sophistication and casual hospitality, and to do that I guess I'd have to buy into the girl scouts and say that Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

Thank you so much!
Best, Brini.

The Brini Maxwell show airs at 9:30 every Thursday night on the Style Network. Learn more at www.brinimaxwell.com