People in my past still haunt me. People from grade school, high school, various jobs are with me everyday. Living on and on with me everyday. Real conversations in my head with people I haven't seen or heard from in years, decades. So much of my time living in these scenarios, arguing, laughing, spending time in my head with people who are no longer in my life.
Today, falling into a nap, after watching a Vogue documentary, thinking about a fashion shoot with all of these missing people. Bryan Rooney in Gaultier drag, Jared Schmidt in a cable knit sweater, leather pants, cowboy boots. Tina Casillas in an homage to Elizabeth Taylor. Old schoolmates like 90's supermodels in a huddle, smiling at the camera in Couture.
Get out of my head! Too much time spent looking up old friends and people I barely knew on Facebook.
Brings me back to wanting a white room, white bed, white sheets. Throw everything away. A lobotomy. Clear it out.
I think it is the "human condition" to think about people from that part of our lives; I also think about folks from the past. But I have to wonder if it is for a reason.... As for a lobotomy maybe you could just do some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of erasing.
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