romances that never were and never will be

sleeping in his sisters bed. thinking about him and not understanding the emotions i was having but knowing that something was really turning me on.
waiting for him to come back so we could do more of what we had done before.
orchestrating some sort of event just to be close to him.
laying in bed crying with pink christmas lights all over my room. my twentysomething world was shaken to its core.
thinking that i lost him. so happy i didnt.