Regressing

About once a year or so, I go through a pretty intense Madonna Truth or Dare fixation. It's not like I start deep throating Evian bottles or anything. I just develop a renewed interest in this movie that was so magical for me when I was about seventeen. Maybe I'm feeling lonely or scared with being an adult and want something comfortable.

When I'm watching it I try to pretend that it's the first time I'm watching it. I try to trick my brain into thinking I'm back at the Woodfield Mall theatres. My sister drove me and Kara there to see it for the first time. I think I was out of the closet by then, or at least telling people that I was "bisexual". Of course, everyone else knew I was gay.

I could barely breathe. It was going too fast. I couldn't take it all in. The gritty black and white, the purpley blue pink music numbers, the (from today's standards pretty tame) sexual titillation, seeing two hot guys kiss for the first time, etc. Madonna had me in the palm of her hand. I felt like I was the only one, that this movie was all for me, wanting everyone else to leave the theater please.

About six years later, my friend Cory (YROC), even drove me to the IMAX theatre at Navy Pier to see it. We were running late and he almost got us killed, speeding and dodging traffic on I90 so I could see three stories of Madonna. That was one of the best nights of my life.

Since then I've played it for every new friend I've ever let into my life. I try to resist. I try to not put it in my backpack when we plan a casual DVD night. But it never fails, "Oh..oh..what's this? How'd this get in here." I guess I want to see it, vicariously, through their eyes for the first time. That's a little sick I guess. Some form of forced one sided intimacy or DVD Rape.

Of course, it's never the same. With each viewing and as each year passes away from 1991, the movie gets a little sillier.

It's still a really important movie for me. Like Star Wars for a Star Wars fan or The Lord of The Rings or The Rocky Horror Picture Show or whatever. I guess everyone has these things, these movies or books or albums that had an impact on them- very important, not to be sniffed at no matter how ridiculous they seem.

I'm sorry. I got all caught up in myself there for a second. That happens from time to time. Carry on.

Click here for the trailer. (You don't have to if you don't want to)