Catastrophe Canyon

Written in September 2002


Today, in the midst of another bout of depression, I was thinking about the Disney MGM Studios Backlot Tour. At the end of the tour the bus takes you into "Catastrophe Canyon," which is an 18 wheel fuel truck sitting on what looks like a very small canyon. The tour guide tells you that this is a set from a new movie they are filming at Disney MGM Studios. Suddenly, a tidal wave of water shoots down the fiberglass rocks of the canyon. The Fuel truck starts shooting flames and a controlled explosion occurs as the bus falls slowly toward the tour bus. The tour guide tells the driver, "Let's get out of here while we can!"

The "Catastrophe Canyon" set was not part of a movie. They have never filmed a movie at the Disney MGM Studios. I knew this all along. Today, it really hit me. Hard.

I love fake things, fake fruit, fake hair (wigs). I even like and even prefer fake cities, like the fake New York at the New York, New York hotel in Las Vegas. I decided today that I can not handle a fake movie set from a fake movie at a fake movie studio. I will tolerate it no longer.

I hope I didn't ruin it for you. I don't know if you ever plan on going to Disneyworld. The next time I go, there will be no tour of the "Disney MGM Studios" for me. No sir. I have seen "The New Leave It To Beaver" house one too many times.