Sprinkler Rainbow Conspiracy

"Ahhhhh...July 6, 2007, its about 4:30 PM" Words that will life in infamy.

I applaud this lady for keeping her tinfoil hat on while the rest of us sleep. She's keeping an eye on things for us. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it. I can also relate to the sheer anxiety she feels. Turning something as beautiful as a sprinkler rainbow into a government conspiracy is a gift, I believe, I also possess.

I hope she can let it go. I hope she is able to sleep at night without dreams of death rainbows.

I just got back from Walgreen's. I bought my weekend essentials: coffee, coke and cigarettes. I also purchased an antidote for all the weekend fun, Prilosec. Another thirty two year old man might be purchasing a case of beer at 1:00 on a Saturday. I'm purchasing over the counter stimulants.

My world view is limited currently. The trek to Walgreens is about as adventurous as it gets for me on a temp salary. While Kara plans a trip to the moon with her mother, I'm keeping it real in the 60640. I don't need a fancy trip or a case of beer. I don't need another hero. Someday I will see life beyond my internal thunderdome. Right now it's black coffee and cigarettes and a Cliff bar (A leftover purchase from last weekend, good choice!).

No drama at Walgreen's, or on the trip there. Passing the weekend edition of the RedEye in my hallway was a bit depressing. It should have had a story about Joe Biden, Obama's pick for VP, but instead the cover story is something about "Do It Yourself Brides." Get it together RedEye. I wanted my sexy enthusiastic RedEye editors staying up late waiting for that text message like the rest of us. But no, they cashed in their chips early, "Stick with the DIY Bride story!" Then they got in their ZipCars and drove out to the suburbs for BBQs.

Joe Biden (is that even what is name is?) looks to me like a villain mayor of Gotham city from a pre-Ledger Batman movie. Oh! We're doomed. We really are. I mean I will be waving my big O flag from now until November but I fear it's a lost cause. The machine (the same one that makes the rainbow sprinklers) is going to steamroll it all to shit. I really wanted the VP text message to look like this:



Or RuPaul or Traci Lords, I don't care. Shake it up! If I have to listen to one more old white man talk I'm gonna turn into an old white man. Again, in the words of Anna Nicole Smith, "I know nothing about nothing. Oh Yes, Oh Yes."